Sylvana had just left. Arrek turned to Sci. “Major?”
“Yes?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Would you have told you if you were in my position?”
“Can I go now?”
Arrek didn’t wait for an answer.
Elenari? Arrek’s head swam as memories he never knew he had assaulted him. As he thought more of them, he realized how tangible they were. He could taste and smell the moment, as well as see it in all its horror. Gazing through the eyes of a frightened child he saw the brother he never knew he’d had. The brother who lay before him bleeding, dying. The broken shell of his brother that he wanted to tear his eyes away from, but also couldn’t take his eyes off.
Wandering aimlessly across a wide boulevard of Coruscant, his mind continued down the avenues of memory. Everything had changed. His whole belief that he was just a normal human being was gone. His whole belief that he was born on earth was gone. His whole…everything was gone.
Understanding evaded him as the cold feelings of loss spread through his gut. They’d always been different, Sylvana and him, and that difference had led them both to a lot of pain and suffering. One thing neither of them had been able to come to terms with, was why people always wanted to hurt them. Even when they’d traveled untold millions of miles away to a far off planet, people there had wanted to hurt them.
As he walked he was accosted by a rough looking Twi’lek looking for credits to get his next glit fix. Arrek tried to avoid him, but the Twi’lek’s persistence began to annoy him. “Look, just fu…” No, he couldn’t talk to someone that way, not a friend, a comrade or even a stranger. “Leave me alone.” Then turning away he quickened his pace and moved away from the intergalactic junkie.
An hour later he still hadn’t come to terms with it, the shrieks of his sister, the tears that had come from his eyes, the terror that had gripped their hearts. The acrid smoke that wound around them as they stood there waiting for their own deaths, their own deaths that never came. Glancing at his chrono he saw that there were still three hours left before he and the others would be leaving this planet.
Distractedly he caught a hover-cab back to the barracks and went up to his quarters. Locking the door behind him he lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The acrid smoke wound around him again as he was again thrust into that situation. Trying to escape he clawed at the bedclothes he was lying on and pulled them over his head, hoping they would make an adequate shield. His hope turned out to be in vain.
The darkness came again. The razor-like dust beneath his bare feet. The cloying taste of the smoke. The harsh stink of the beasts. The pain. The terror. The evil. The sleep.
Woken by the knock on his door, Arrek sat up abruptly and answered it. It was Sci come to check on him and make sure he was ready to leave. After exchanging pleasantries and reassurances with the Major. Arrek grabbed a few things that were lying about and went up to the roof.
He’d decided that this was his favorite place on Coruscant. Here there was peace with chaos. Escape into captivity. Privacy with voyeurism. It was a contradiction and reminded him somewhat of a place back home he liked to go to and think.
Sitting down on the ledge and dangling his legs over the edge, into the great precipice that was underneath him, he stared down into the depths of the city world.
Looking into its heart he saw all the emotions that this world had been witness to. Love, hate, joy, pain, anger, calm. It was all here. Every moment someone was experiencing these emotions and circumstances. Thinking back to the Old Republic that had once been seated here and of the Empire that had corrupted here, he knew everything happened for a reason. The Empire had to happen, the Republic had to fall and then reform. If none of this had happened then who knew where all this would be now. For better or worse, everything happens for a reason.
Getting up he went down to his quarters, gathered his possessions and went to the Gaia to wait for the others.