Josh sat in the corner of the small metal room, watching Sylvana's breathing, listening to the emotionless tones of the machine that goes bing. There hadn't been another scare like the cardiac arrest earlier, but Josh was sitting vigil nonetheless.
Nick had tried to get him out of the room, to help with - well, with make-work. Anything to get Josh out of the room. And with those straps on the wall, where Josh had hung... he could see why Nick was worried.
That, and the fact Josh was the reason Sylvana was there in the first place.
Somehow, the regular beeping of the machine seemed to accentuate the oppressive silence, as did the vague roaring of the starship's drive.
Sylvana stirred, and Josh was on his feet in an instant, standing next to the bed, checking for signs of response, for any change in the readings.
Nothing. Just a spasm, or something.
Sylvana looked peaceful as she lay there, even strapped down as she was in case of turbulence. Josh found himself reaching towards her bandaged head, then snatched his hand back as he remembered what that same hand had done.
He knelt beside the bed, guilt choking his breathing, lowered his head penitently, and tried to speak.
After a while, he succeeded.
"I hope you're okay. They say talking to people in a coma helps 'em, so that's what I'm trying to do..." Josh raised his head, briefly, but Syl had not stirred even minutely in response.
"I'm really sorry for what I did," he continued, still staring at his knees. "I know that kind of apology isn't worth shit, but it's true, all the same. I went overboard, again. I think I've got enough mass that I could have just held you in place, but I didn't. I beat the shit out of you, and I don't know if I can ever make it up to you."
The torrent of words broke a dam within Josh, and he continued to speak, now staring unseeing at the other side of the room. "And that's the problem. I really want to make it up with you. I know it sounds stupid, but I dreamt of you, the first night after I met you. We were in a hotel, and we seemed to just be working together seamlessly, you know? Some guys were trying to scale up to the balconies, so we just fought them off like we'd done it hundreds of times before."
His gaze focussed again, on Sylvana's sleeping face. "Truth is, I don't think I've met someone like you before. You turned up and.... I don't know, it was like my world turned upside down. You kept turning up at the back of my mind at the weirdest times. In Paris, when I was running from the cops, you were there, you know? It gave me hope." Josh drew in a shuddering breath, as some of the other things that had happened in Paris, and after, came crowding in on his conscience. He turned them away - there was no room at the moment.
He knelt, staring at the bandages over her head, and he spoke again. "And the way I repay you is a rock to the head. I can't even keep the stormie in line around you. I owe you more than I ever gave you. I know you won't forgive me... but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever met you, truth be told." His voice cracked as he added, "You deserve better."
He fell silent, his face contorting into a rictus of grief, a solitary tear wending its way down his cheek, finally losing itself in his beard. Blinking back more tears, he stumbled to his feet.
"I'm sorry," he whispered one last time, then staggered out the door, heading towards the ship's 'fresher.