------- Brimstone No Dice By Sylvana Lorrdain ------- I slowly started my third repitition of a simple set of T'ai Chi forms... my head was pounding - though the doctors refused to give me anything stronger than their version of paracetamol. It was frustrating, they seemed to think the headache I experienced was only phantom pain from the fight I'd had with Josh. Nobody listened to me when I told them I'd had it before the incident. *At least they don't make me wear those 'inmate' clothes...* I smirked. I had to admit to myself, if to no one else, that Dr. Anreson's kindness was definitely a plus - the clothes I'd been provided were more comfortable than a jumpsuit, and helped me to try and bring some normalcy to this. *Granted, threatening to just go around nude had helped them come to the decision,* I chuckled in memory of the shocked faces; dropping out of stance momentarily to finger the badge I wore to mark me as a patient. *Now, if only that stupid headache would go away!* Slowly, I parted a horse's mane, bringing my hands across eachother, and stepping, my eyes closing. *I'm a doctor, for heaven's sake... I know what I need....* My hands slowly parted, as though I were a crane spreading its wings, then came down to brush either knee, *A good shot of demerol would work nicely... or perhaps morphine.* With my eyes closed, it was easy to imagine I really was strumming a lute... grasping at the tail of a bird... *Birds have feathers. Feathers tickle. Tickling drives me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a little rubber room. It was cold. I died. They buried me. Worms ate my brains. Worms? Birds eat worms. Birds? Birds have feathers. Feathers tickle...* I chuckled, funny that old rhyme would find its way to my mind just then. "I'm not really crazy... am I?" I wondered aloud to myself. In stead of the slow, controlled movements that Taichi was known for, I started speeding up, moving those same forms into a more of a martial art, which it could well be used for. My hands whipped around swiftly as I lost myself, a saying I'd once heard, passing through my mind. *Pain is not my enemy. Battle my only friend. Blood fuels the fires of vengeance. My pride is all that will exist in the end.* Bare foot lifted in a high kick, before I spun around in a form to imitate striking either side of an opponent's head. *If I can remember that, then it won't be so bother-* "Shhhhhiarraugh!" I stopped, having backed into someone on my way to the next form. My eyes flew open, and I spun around, dropping into a crouch... and froze when I saw just whom had interrupted my training. My breathing quickened at the sight of the Firerreo, bowing and apologising. "Forgive me, your highness, but I could not help but watch. Are you preparing for when they come?" he asked. "Who come...?" I was surprised at my ability to even form words, I was so frightened at that moment. "Oh, you know... *them*. Remember, when the Bantha walks out of line, that's when the time will come to gather together your people and defeat the dark lord!" "Go. Away." I stook a step back, keeping up my defensive stance. He only stepped forward two paces. "But Princess, you must know the time is near, we cannot do this without you leading us." "Go. Away. Now," I grit my jaw. "Highness," he stepped forward once more. "Fine," I somehow snapped from the fear coursing through me. "I'll play your game. It is my royal and high decree, that you get the HELL away from me, and if I EVER see you again, I will NOT hesitate to attack you! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!" "But highness, the sun is rising, and I must be here to-" "LEAVE!" I shouted, pointing in a direction opposite to myself. Herthrir's face fell slightly, "Oh Highness," he said in a placating tone, stepping forward and putting a hand to my flushed face. "Are you feeling ill?" That. Was. It. --- "Fegrin, Isn't that one of the Terrans? The one who came in so injured?" "Yes," the Duros orderly looked down through the charts. "Dr. Lorrdain... what's going on?" "Herthrir's talking to her." "What? I told him to stay away from her!" "Well... I think she's telling him the - oh SHIT!" --- An audible snap caused me to smirk as Herthrir cried out in surprised pain with his arm hanging oddly. "Away, means away! As in not anywhere near me!" I shouted, spinning around in an attempt to kick his head clear off his shoulders... or at least rattle his brains a little. Herthrir was lucky to duck in time, causing me to spin back and crouch before moving forward to attack him again. "But Highness, it is imperative-" My hand closed around his throat, then my knee connected with his stomach... and then I heard the sound of shouting, hands trying to pull me away.... It was as though a bolt of electricity shot through me, and my ability to control my actions had been paralysed. A Duros caught me as I fell, while a Human guard went to see to Herthrir. "Oh, Doctor Lorrdain," I heard the Duros sigh as my eyes closed to blackness. --- *Pins and needles have nothing on this... I feel like I'm being run through with goblin swords and rusty harpoons rummaged out of antique closets....* Carefully, I opened my eyes, to find myself back in my room. It was bare moments before the pressure in my head reminded me it had not left, and I would not be allowed to forget it. "Pain is not my enemy. Battle my only friend. Blood fuels the fires of vengeance. My pride is all that will exist in the end." I found myself whispering, trying to embrace the pain in stead of allowing it to drive me mad. "That's an interesting theory - where does it come from?" A familiar voice said. I turned my head, slowly pushing myself to a seated position to see Dr. Anreson there. I sighed, "Figures you'd be here." "I'm sorry, does my presence disturb you, Doctor Lorrdain?" "No, Doctor Anreson - but your uncanny ability to always have your nose in my business does." "I'm here for you to talk with, Doctor - you can't keep everything bottled up inside." "Try me," I muttered, dropping my forearms onto raised knees as I watched her where she sat all prim and proper on the other side of the room. Her eyes were different though, they showed she was probably a much tougher cookie than she let on. "So, where did you hear such a theory - it seems quite strange." "I don't remember," I said honestly, still watching her as though she were a potential threat. "I read it somewhere once, and it made sense." "It seems a bit defeatist, doesn't it?" "No, it's just got a violent overtone. I like it," I smirked, trying to unnerve her. "The whole blood thing amuses me." No dice. "Is that why you became a doctor?" "I was being sarcastic." "Really? I thought you were just trying to throw me off." *How does she DO that?* I waved a hand, "Believe what you want to." Anreson smiled, I wanted to slap it off her face, "I want to believe the truth." She leaned forward, "Like... why does Herthrir bother you so much?" "He just does." "Why?" "He has striped hair, and keeps calling me princess." Anreson flipped a page, "It seems you wore your hair striped when you first joined Terra Group... and doesn't every girl wish to be called princess at one time in their lives?" "NOT this girl," I glared at her. "Is there a reason?" "Perhaps." "Mind telling me?" "It's classified," I smirked. "Alright, let me try another question. Why were you in the garden?" "Because I wanted to be." "You had to have realised that other patients are also allowed there," she pointed out, even using her stylus as a pointer. "And your point?" I bit back. "You didn't have to beat him up, you could have just left." I said nothing, and for some reason she took this as a cue to continue. Some people, you'd think being a shrink she'd know silence means, shut up and go away. I guess I can't have everything. "And yet you chose to attack him. And you also chose to go to a place where you knew you were likely to run into him. I'm curious as to why?" "Listen, the only way I can stay away from them all, is to just stay in here, and I couldn't. Okay? I can't stand being locked in a room - I need to be outside. Even those damn walls make me feel like I'm in a prison, trapped. I can't take it - but at least outside there's SOME illusion of freedom!" I did my very best to spit her with a glare, but she just calmly returned the gaze. I wanted to slap her. She sighed patiently, "How can I help you, Doctor, if you don't let me?" "Maybe I don't *want* your help. Can't you just let me be?" I smirked triumphantly as she stood, though it was quickly swiped from my face when she spoke. "Try to get some rest, Doctor - perhaps later you'll be more amenable to my help." I snorted, and turned my head, waiting for her to leave. Perhaps later tonight I'd go to the gym and work off some of this frustration... *and work on my leg a bit,* I thought, rubbing the sore muscle. It was still healing, after all.