DOO-DOO-DOODOODOO-DOO-DOODOO!
"..."
DOO-DOO-DOODOODOO-DOO-DOODOO!!
"!"
DOO-DOO-DOODOODOO-DOO-DOODOO!!!!
"!?!"
DOO-DOO-DOODOODOO-DOO-DOODOO!!!!!!!!
"Aaarrrggghhhhh...."
A hand flailed wildly in the darkness, eventually banging down hard on the source of the noise. Echoes of the chirpy alarm reverberated throughout the hangar, as Mike peeled himself out of the chair he'd fallen asleep in. He looked regretfully down at the imprint he'd left on the cushions, all too aware that it wasn't the first time he'd slept there. He knew from long experience that the muscular spasms would haunt him throughout the day to come. But he'd been up all night preparing for this morning, and it would probably be worth it. He grinned as he imagined the scene he was about to cause.
Something bumped into his leg, hard. He hopped back, cursing as another flashpoint of pain erupted on his shin.
"Lights!" he called. A dim glow from overhead slowly illuminated the hangar. Mike had set the false-dawn effect to allow him time to readjust, and was always grateful for that stroke of genius.
He scrubbed at his eyes, valiantly trying to not just collapse back into his chair. He looked at his watch. 0734. It was breakfast time, and the mission would be starting soon enough. But before they left, Terra Group had one last task ahead of them.
"Are we all ready?" he asked.
A chorus of toots, wheeps, whistles and bleeps came in reply.
"Je, tu, il ou elle, nous, vous, ils ou elles..."
"Un, deux, trois, quatre..."
"Paris, Marseilles, Auxerre, Calais..."
It was breakfast time, and Terra Group were preparing for their imminent trip to Paris. Becki, Zee and Vickie were practising their French at a table. Kristy was wandering here and there, muttering German beneath her breath to try and put her friends off. Crispy and Brad sat at opposite ends of the grand dining table, shovelling pancakes into their mouths as fast as Rich could bring them from the kitchen.
For those not on their way to Paris or the moon, it was an interesting introduction to the rest of their team-mates. Sylvana, Arrek and Bethany sat a little way away from the rest, unwilling to interrupt their team-mates' strenuous preparations. As they watched, Josh Cochran strode through the mess hall's swing doors, and took up position with the other Francophones. Soon he too was "Protégeant le monde contre nos propres imaginations" -ing.
"Do you hear something?" Sylvana asked the others, as the doors swung on their hinges.
Arrek shrugged. "All I hear is those guys mangling their verbs."
"Something... Beeping?" Sylvana persisted.
Bethany looked up from her coffee. "Yeah, I hear it too, now. It's like..."
Just then, Vickie's mouse droid, Spaz, burst through the doors, whistling frantically. It sped across the floor, under the French speakers' table, and hid nervously behind Vickie's chair.
"What's up, Spaz?" Vickie asked, looking down at the frightened little droid.
The group tore along the corridor. They'd accelerated out of the hangar, Mike and his partner in the lead, with the others trailing behind like migratory geese. Nearing the mess hall, Mike leaned heavily to one side, steering his steed to the right. The others followed, picking up speed as they accelerated along the corridor towards the swing doors.
Sylvana was just standing up to go investigate the beeping when the mess hall doors slammed open. Into the room roared a dozen astromech units, led by a tall human astride one of their number. Spaz squealed frantically and dived under the table. Sylvana didn't entirely blame him.
The mechs sped around the room, their leader in no way slowed by the extra weight it was carrying. As they accelerated past the newcomers' table, the human reached out and snatched Arrek's pain au chocolat from his plate. The droids completed one more circuit of the room as the members of Terra Group watched in amazement, before screeching to a halt beside Vickie and Kristy.
The man hopped off the lead droid and snapped to something vaguely resembling attention. Then he bit off a large chunk of chocolate bread, and snapped a salute with it poking through his teeth.
"Terra Four and the astromech army reporting for duty, sirs," he said, a wide grin splitting his face in two as he swallowed the bread, whole.
Kristy blinked, before taking a seat and picking up Zee's French textbook. Whatever the issue was, she was having none of it, Sylvana surmised.
"Mike..." Vickie began, before checking herself. "No, forget it. I don't want to know."
"I do," Becki said, standing. She stared up at the tall young man. "What's the story, Mike?"
'Mike' grinned again. He seemed to do it a lot, Sylvana noticed. She smiled herself, catching his eye, she noticed the glint of someone having the time of their life. She recognised it from looking the mirror.
"Sci's orders, from General Cracken himself. All members of Terra Group to be assigned a permanent astromech partner. I've picked them to match up with your personalities as best as I can."
Sylvana's stomach lurched, and she looked across the table at Arrek, knowing they were thinking the same thing. "This just keeps getting cooler!" she signed to him. He nodded in reply, grinning himself. Big smiles were everywhere today.
"How come you get to assign them?" Josh Cochran asked. "Not that I'm bothered, you understand, but I wouldn't trust you to pair off tables and chairs, let alone assign anyone a permanent droid partner."
Somewhere behind Mike, a droid blatted merrily, and bounced from foot to foot.
"Couldn't have put it better myself, Hyper," Mike said, with another grin. "Josh, you have to understand, I'm a changed man. Since becoming TG's mechanic, I have a new sense of responsibility. When was the last time I played a practical joke on anyone?"
"You wired up all the simulators so that every time someone scored a kill, all the lights went off in the castle," Brad said. "That was last week."
"You hid Corran and Loki in Rich's big saucepan so that the state dinner for the King of Lesotho started over an hour late," Vickie commented. "Then challenged the King to a game of table tennis. That was five days ago."
"Four days ago, you rigged Thayer's shower so that springy snakes popped out when he turned it on," Josh Cochran continued.
"Two days ago, you put three pints of vodka in the trifle when the Russian Ambassador came to stay," Rich added.
"And last night you welcomed us all here by shaking our hands with an electric shock buzzer," Kristy finished.
Sylvana smiled again. This guy sounded like he was fun.
"Your point being?" Mike asked of his team-mates. "Look, all that's by the by. I take my duties seriously, you know that. Do you want these droids or not? I can send them back to Industrial Automaton...."
"I want mine!" Sylvana blurted. She coloured slightly as everyone turned to look at her. "I mean, I know I'm new and all, but you did say all members of Terra Group get one. I hope that includes the newbies."
Mike consulted his datapad. "You'd be Sylvana Lorrdain, yes? Age unknown, place of birth unknown, skilled martial artist, competent with many weapons, filed medic... Is any of this sounding familiar?"
"That's me," Sylvana replied. "How did you know all that stuff?"
"You'd be surprised what we know about you three," Mike said. He smiled. "Relax. In your case, it's all good. Now, yes, let me see..." He consulted the datapad again. "Sylvana Lorrdain. Assigned one R7 astromech." He looked up, and caught Sylvana's eye. "This little guy was very eager to meet you. He seemed to think he was destined to be your partner. I'm telling you, the NR sent us some kooky units..."
He stopped as an astromech rolled out of the pack behind him. It hooted softly, its optical sensor fixed on Sylvana.
"OK, F8. off you go. There she is."
The droid hummed contentedly as it rolled over to where Sylvana was standing.
"F8?" she asked.
"Yep. Fate. Once it started going on about destiny and foreshadowing, there wasn't much else I could call it.
"Now, as for the rest of you... Cochran, you already have Hyper. Nolan, you've already met D15. It's a snooty little thing, a bit secretive, and I was tempted to keep it for myself, but it's got such an attitude on it, that I thought you'd like to be friends with it. Perhaps you could call it 'Dis'?"
The white and green droid rolled reluctantly out of the pack, and trundled towards its new partner. The contrast with F8 marked. At the same time, Hyper moved to stand beside Josh. The implication was clear: The droids were staking their claim.
"As for the rest of you... Nick, Sci, Emily... All absent. You'd better believe I have some good droids lined up for them... Vickie! You, my dear, have been assigned a droid I think will get on well with your, ah, crowded household. Twitch? Come on out here."
An orange and white R2 unit moved free of its brethren, and halted by Mike. Vickie watched as it fidgeted by her friend's side.
"Twitch here is part of the same line of droids that Whistler came from. He's been programmed with a certain amount of security protocol, although he was originally a military droid, rather than CorSec assigned. He's also got an affinity to animals, as one of his original jobs was, ah, care of his units mascot. Apparently he had to look after a bantha, so he's quite looking forward to meeting Leia, Corran and the others.
"Kristy, meet Helix. He worked with Ton Phanan, would you believe, way back when Ton was still a practising doc. He's got a complete knowledge of human and many alien physiologies, as well as being something of a science buff."
The R5 unit, blue and white, wheeled out of the group of droids, and moved over to stand beside Kristy.
"Arrek Lorrdain, he of the dangerous sister and dangerously over active pheromone gland," Mike said, winking at Josh C. "You, Arrek, have been assigned one of the units two female droids. This here," he said, as a green and black R5 unit started moving towards the new TG member, "is Elf, or R5-L5. She's a fluent linguist, a fast learner, and assures me she looks great in a bikini." He paused. "Apparently the female droids have a sense of humour, which should suit the other person paired off with one. Anyway, more than that about Elf, you'll have to find out yourself. She's been a little bit secretive.
"Becki, meet Kitten, or R5-K71. Kitten's a bit impatient, but very loyal. He broke up a squabble between Dis and Elf last night. He's another military droid, but he acted as quartermaster for a Rebel faction, rather than as a standard astromech. I should warn you that the safety protocols have been removed from this droid. He can, and will, hurt people, if they're threatening his friends."
The black and red droid peeled away from the others, and rolled purposefully towards Becki. Hyper moved out of its way slightly, seemingly intimidated by the larger droid.
"Kitten?" Becki asked curiously.
"I have no idea," Mike replied, not entirely truthfully. "Doesn't fit him very well, does it?
"Brad, your droid is named Dunne," Mike said, turning to face the Aussie. "He was one of the first droids manufactured under the New Republic, and has no knowledge of the Empire as anything except something to be smashed. I think you two will get along famously." The droid, R7-D1, moved towards Brad.
"What can it do?" Brad asked.
"Standard R7 kit out, same as Hyper and Fate. More than that, is a mystery. He's kept silent since he's been here, unlike the other droids.
"And last but not least, Bethany, our final newbie. You get an R2 unit," he told the red-headed Canadian. "He's called Dev, in honour of our horny comrade from the GFFA. More properly, his code is R2-D7, but I like Dev," he added with a smile. "Dev is fully equipped as a slicer, and you'll work with him, when you get the chance, to learn all the GFFA coding and stuff. He's also over equipped as an astromech, sporting all kinds of bolt on gadgets that may or may not be of use as we go on. I'll leave it up to you to work out what exactly he has. There's only an hour or so 'til we all have to get going, so let's eat.
"Oh, one last thing. I can repair, upgrade, alter or reprogram these droids. You're not stuck with them if there's a clash, but I don't think there will be. For the most part, they're staying here for this mission, although myself, Sci, Josh C, and probably Kristy and Vickie will be travelling with their droids. Sci will let you know for sure. Speaking of our Fearful Leader, I'll have to get him his droid at some point. He said he wanted it with him for his mission...
"Right, then. Food!"