Fear by Alison Sky ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Darkness. A knife against her skin. Pinned against a wall. Harsh breath on her ear. Panic rose in Alison's mind. This was her fear-- the worst nightmares of her mind coming to life. And it was happening to her-- again. No matter how deep into her Crawler persona she slipped, this was too deep of a fear in Alison's mind. It scared her, and the fear controlled her. There was no amount of training that could erase this fear. And this was the reason why the normally strong woman, a proud Corellian who had been taught to fight from the best of the best, was now stiff and trembling. "Your father took away my life," the harsh breath whispered. "I hunted him for years-- wanting to get the revenge for how he wronged me-- now, I will, through you." The hand was still clamped over her mouth, which muffled her scream as she felt the knife cut along her back. "He stole from me my wife and child-- so I will take his child in return." Alison screamed again as she felt the knife dig home-- and she knew in that moment she was going to die, and there was no one who could save her. ~~~~~ They say when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. Well, this was the second time that Alison stood at death's door, and the pictures were totally different. She remembered her father holding her, rocking her, kissing her cheek, then putting her on his shoulders. She would spread her arms, pretending she was flying. But they never stayed on a world for long, and sometimes in the middle of the night, they would pack up and move, leaving behind everything they owned. When she had started going to school, she had been afraid that one day she would come home-- and her family would be gone. Then, one day it happened. She came home, and everything was gone. Her home, her parents, her baby brother Chak-- all gone. The house was on fire, people were screaming, yelling-- no one noticed the 6 year old who hid herself in the shadows. For three days she hid on that world. She saw people searching the remains. She saw storm troopers patrolling the grounds. Then the day came where the storm troopers found her. One started to chase her. She had found her way into the sewer system and was able to lose the troopers, only the run into a bunch of pirates. There, in the dark, they held her down, touched her-- threatened to kill her. And then suddenly there was gunfire. The pirates were dead within seconds, and Alison looked up to see her father standing there, clad in storm trooper armor. He picked her up and held her tightly, and it was the first time she had ever seen her father cry. Then he told her that he was proud of her, of how she knew how to keep herself safe by herself. But she needed to learn one more thing. Never be afraid of the dark. The darkness will keep you safe, as long as you know how to move in it. But I'm not afraid of the dark, Daddy. And she knew how to move in it. She trained herself to fight without eyes. Wes trained her to fight in the dark. Fes taught her to fight enemies she couldn't see. She wasn't afraid of the dark. It wasn't the knife either. She had been in combat more times than her record would ever show. She didn't fear weapons, nor their wielders. No-- she feared being pinned in a way where she couldn't escape-- where she could be attacked. Where she could be violated. Hands where they didn't belong-- rough and painful. No care, just dirty thoughts and actions. She feared that she would let her emotions would lead her into situations where she no longer had control. She feared not being able to be in control. Perhaps this was why she and Wes hadn't made love yet. Sure, everyone thought they had, and Alison didn't complain about Wes' insinuations-- but he had suspicions of her fear, and was gentle, taking his time and letting her open up slowly. It was one of the reasons she really did love the man. Under the playboy, he was really a gentleman. But she would never see him again-- never see anyone again because she knew she was going to die in his darkness. I don't know why they put you in intel, the voice of Sharr Latt, her one time training partner, came to mind. You don't listen to rules, you don't care about anyone but yourself. What is it you're so afraid of? I give up, Alison, Wedge, her uncle. You act like a soldier, a perfect carbon cut of your father. But you won't admit your fears. Until you do, you won't be able to survive in this world. Alison, I love you. Wes. But why is it when I look in your eyes-- you're afraid of me? ~~~~~ Tears streamed down Alison's face as she felt the knife in her back. Laughter filled her ears. "You're crying, bitch. You know you're gonna die." "Yes," Alison whimpered. "You're afraid of me-- ooo, this is just going to make this all the more wonderful. The daughter of Baron Fel-- afraid of a simple smuggler," the voice taunted, and Alison whimpered as she felt his breath on her neck. "I want to hear you beg for mercy." "Please--" she whimpered, the fear making her tremble. "Please what?" the voice almost purred in her hear. But you won't admit your fears. Until you do, you won't be able to survive in this world. "Please stop-- I'm afraid--" "You should be," the voice pressed up against her, and Alison felt the knife dig deeper into her back. "You should be very afraid." But something stuck in Alison's mind suddenly. Yes. She was afraid. She will admit it. She can admit it. And the fact she finally admitted it-- her head cleared. Around her the darkness opened up, and she could see again. She could breathe. Her training kicked in seconds later. She knew how to get free. She could see the series of actions she needed to take. Without a moment's hesitation, she let her hands grip the wall and she snapped her head back. She felt the impact on the back of her head, at the same time hearing her attacker cry out. Then the pressure was off her back. Her attacker had stumbled backwards. She pushed off the wall sideways, spinning to her left, her leg coming up into a snap-kick at the height she had felt his breath on her neck. She connected, and another cry of pain, along with a thud on the ground. She held her breath, letting her ears listen to see if he moved-- but the only noise she heard was her pounding heartbeat-- Then there was an explosion. Her eyes opened in fear, and she jumped over the lump on the ground and ran for the doorway she knew was there from the line of light under it. She opened the door, then jumped away as the door hit someone. She felt a pair of arms grab her and hold her a moment, and went to fight and looked up. --and found herself looking up into a pair of very familiar blue eyes. "Alison?" Wes Janson asked, holding her, looking down both in relief and confusion. A flood gate released and Alison's vision blurred as she started to cry, grabbing onto Wes and just holding him tightly. "Wes-- I'm sorry-- I'm scared-- I'm so sorry," she cried as she held him. She didn't care if she looked weak at this moment. She was afraid, and needed someone to hold her. She felt Wes' arms wrap tightly around her, holding her back, and she knew she was safe. Yes. Alison would finally admit that she was afraid, and didn't give a damn who saw her cry.