Project Boussh: Striking A Deal
by Nick Coghlan

"It looks like we're going to Melbourne."

Josh left the Ewok alone, as he came to look over Nick's shoulder.
"Melbourne. Why Melbourne?"

"Don't look at me. You're the one who's been gallivanting about the
countryside with our friendly neighbourhood mystic." Nick jerked his
thumb at Ooryl, who was still standing, staring off into the distance.

Josh grunted. Despite the experiences of the last couple of weeks,
Ooryl's abilities were still a mystery to him. That didn't stop him from
being curious, though. "Whatever. We should get ready to go."

As Josh turned back towards the Ewoks, Ooryl seemed to shake himself out
of his trance. Pointing at Josh he said "You come with me to get your
car." Pointing at Nick he continued, "You take them" - he pointed at the
Ewoks - "and go report to Piggy. Then go back to the farm for
reinforcements. I will meet you in Melbourne."

Startled, Nick didn't say anything for a few seconds. By the time he
opened his mouth, the Gand had disappeared behind the TIE fighter.
"But..." He looked at Josh. Josh shrugged, as if to say "He _is_ the one
who knows what he's doing". Nick looked at the Ewoks. They were glaring
suspiciously straight back at him. "Ah, hell," he muttered to himself.
"Looks like it's time to deal with past crimes."

Leaving Josh behind, he strode over to the Ewoks, his hands open to the
sides to show his lack of weapons. Their leader, slightly taller than
the other two, stepped forward, bringing his carbine up towards the
ready position. Before he could finish the motion, Nick had covered the
final distance to him, grabbing the barrel of the blaster and pulling it
and the Ewok towards him. In one motion, he had turned the Ewok around,
and now down on one knee, held the tip of the carbine to the Ewok's
throat, while his left arm held the Ewok in a firm submission grip.
Glaring at the other two he said, "Now would be a good time to put the
blasters down." After a strained "Yub" from the leader they complied.

"I know you don't like me. To tell the truth, I'm not that fond of you
either. That's why I'm an Ewok farmer. But I have something you want,
and you have something I want. Are you willing to listen?"
"Yub." With the leader's grunt of assent, Nick let him go. He retained
the blaster carbine, however. Released from the painful submission hold,
the Ewok turned back to the hated Ewok farmer, at least willing to
listen to the proposed bargain.

"OK. Now, let's start by looking at what you want from me."
"Yub!" "Yub Yub!" "Yub!" All three Ewoks chimed in at once. The leader
turned to glare at the other two, who glared right back.
"Right then. So really you're asking for no more exploitation. No
juicing. No skinning. No more drugs in the feed. Just a free place to
eat and sleep."
"Yub Yub!" The Ewoks were jumping up and down, running around in little
circles. They seemed overjoyed by what Nick had just said. He held up a
hand to try and calm them down a bit.
"Well there is one small problem with that. What do I get out of it? I
mean, I'm providing free accomodation to you, so surely I should get
something."
The three Ewoks looked at each other in consternation. They'd just been
offered paradise, and now he was taking it away? Then the shortest one
said "Yub!" and the other two started nodding in agreement.
"The criminals? You'd give me the criminals? Yes, I suppose that could
work. Although, how am I going to keep order without sedating any of
you?"
This time it was the leader of the trio who spoke up excitedly, "Yub
Yub! Yub! Yub Yub Yub!"
"You want me to put _you_ in charge? Ahh, I see. You're proposing a
partnership. I back you and support you, and you provide me with what I
want - which is good order and the occasional criminal."
All three Ewoks were bouncing around excitedly again. They sensed that
an historic deal was in the making. Nick grinned, because the Ewoks were
suggesting exactly what he'd had in mind. Something to get both the
Ewoks _and_ the New Republic off his back.
"One final thing. I'll willingly support your leadership, on the terms
you suggested, but I still need - _Josh_ still needs - your help now.
Will you come with me and recruit more of your brethren, so we can all
help Josh?"
A chorus of excited "Yubs" gave Nick his answer. The Ewoks barelled into
him, wrapping their arms around him, hugging his head, kissing his hair.

"OK, OK. It's much appreciated, sure. Now let's get going." Nick climbed
to his feet, returned the leader's blaster and pushed the Ewoks off in
the general direction of his car. Brushing leaves from his clothes, he
strolled nonchalantly over to Josh. "Not a problem. They love me now,
just for getting them to offer me exactly what I wanted."
Josh quirked an eyebrow, "Really? And you came how close to getting
shot?"
Nick grimaced, "Yeah, well it worked didn't it? At least I won't be
looking over my shoulder for the rest of this mission."
"Except for Imps." Josh pointed to a crate that hadn't been there when
Nick had gone to speak to the Ewoks, "Twenty blasters and blaster
carbines. You want to collect another twenty Ewoks."

Nick nodded. "I'll have to find some alternative transportation first."