Boussh: Epilogue: Saying Goodbye is Hard to Do
by Alison Sky

        "You wanted to see me?" 
      Face stood in the doorway of what had been dubbed 
the "leaders' room."  At the table in front of him sat General 
Cracken, Wedge and Sci.
      "Come in, Loran," Cracken waved.  Face entered, mindful to 
get the sword at his hip clear from the doorway before he closed the 
door behind him.
      "Face, we were just wondering how you're taking Alison's..." 
Wedge let his words drift off.
      Face licked his lips.  Yes, he had put on the straight face 
of an officer (oh, the skills of an actor!) telling the others not to 
mourn her as much as they wanted to... how she wouldn't want it that 
way.  But it was harder for him... 
      He had known Alison much longer than any of the NR knew any 
of the Terrans.  He never knew that one little miscalculation on a 
hyperspace jump would cause him to open the doors to a new galaxy.  
And then there was Alison, who had helped him repair his ship.  A 
friendship bond started that spanned galaxies.  
      And put to the test during this mission.  Face shook his 
head, the spot above his ear hurting in remembered pain.  _If I had 
only listened... none of this would have ever happened and maybe she 
would still be alive right now._
      "Face?"
      Face lifted his head and put the relaxed officer face on 
it.  "I'm fine, sirs."
      Wedge seemed to examine Face closer, then sighed.  He knew 
that Face was too good of an actor to let his emotions show.  "I see 
Wes has given you Alison's sword.  What are your plans with it?"
      "The sword?"  Face looked down where his hand rested on the 
hilt.  "I was probably going to take it back to her spaceport.  No 
one has informed the people there about what has happened.  I'll let 
them decide on what to do with it."
      Cracken nodded and looked at Sci.  The Terran group leader 
stood and held out two black cases to Face.  "Take these with you as 
well," Sci told him.
      Face crossed to them and took the case.  Opening them, he saw 
that they contained a set of Lieutenant pips and the Borleias medal 
of Valor.  He took a deep breath, then closed the cases.  "I'll make 
sure that they get there safely."
      Cracken looked at Sci and motioned for the younger man to 
leave the room with him.  Soon, it was just Wedge and Face.  Wedge 
stood and walked to the other side of the desk.  "You want to talk 
about it?"
      "About what?" Face feigned ignorance.  Wedge just raised an 
eyebrow and stared into Face's eyes.  After a moment, the actor 
dropped his gaze and shook his head.  "I don't think I'm ready to.  
Dia has already asked, but I just can't... not yet."
      Wedge put a hand on Face's shoulder.  "You know, Face, you've 
been lucky.  Since you've been in command of the Wraiths, you have 
yet to really lose anyone.  Lara's defection was probably your only 
real loss."
      "That was enough, or so I thought." 
      "I've lost a lot of people since I've been the head of Rogue 
Squadron, Face.  Many of them were good friends.  And unlike Corran 
and Wes, and for you Lara, they don't come back from the dead no 
matter how hard you want it to happen."
      Face looked up at Wedge, saw the lines on his face from the 
years of pain the Rebellion had cost him.  Face wondered if he would 
one day carry those same tired lines, or if his actor's persona would 
somehow keep them away.
      "Wedge, when you thought you lost Wes... how did you feel 
inside?"
      Closing his eyes, Wedge took his time on answering.  "Like 
the world had reached into my chest, grabbed my heart and pulled it 
out, and then stood there laughing while crushing it in front of my 
eyes."
      "Yeah," Face said softly.  "That's about right."
      "All I can tell you, Face, as that it gets better.  In time, 
the pain will go away, and you'll be able to look back at the 
memories without feeling that pain."
      Face nodded, his mind lost in thoughts.  He looked up at 
Wedge, then gave him a quick salute, turned on his heel and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Finally, good-byes were said, promises of holos and 
communication back and forth between the new groups of friends were 
uttered.  Face sat on the edge of his X-Wing, doing his final 
repairs.  He had already said goodbye to the few Terrans he had met.  
      "Hey, thought you could get away from us, did you?"
      Face turned and looked down at Emily and Mike as they stood 
at the bottom of the ship's ladder.  "I can't be that lucky, can I?" 
Face called, then jumped down to stand before them.
      "You know, you really should grow your hair back out," Emily 
said, reaching out to run her hand through Face's fuzzy shaved 
hair.  "You look like an Imp recruit."
      Face shrugged.  "Maybe it'll help when I go undercover."
      "Nah, your face is still in one piece, they'll recognize you 
instantly."  Emily laughed and gave Face a hug.  "You take care now, 
you hear?"
      "You too.  Are you going back up to the Spaceport anytime 
soon, now that Alison isn't there to control it?"
      Emily bit her lip.  "I'm more of the creative backer for Rent 
a Rogue then an active partner.  No, there are people on the station 
who will run it for me."      
      Face nodded.  "Well, I'm going to stop by and talk to your... 
acting CEO... and give him her stuff."  Face winked at Emily, and the 
two exchanged knowing glances.
      "Acting CEO?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow.
      "Face knows about Rent a Rogue," Emily explained.  "The only 
one who does.  He helped us set the place up."
      "And I've still yet to get profits from this," Face told her.
      "We don't get paid!" Emily pointed out.
      Face thought for a moment.  "Good point."
      Emily looked over her shoulder to where Wes, Hobbie and Ooryl 
stood chatting.  "Well, I need to go say a few more good-byes.  I'll 
talk with you soon, Face?"
      "Of course.  Take care Emily."
      The two men watched the young girl take off, the sword 
bouncing at her hip.  "So, don't you have a special lady to say 
goodbye to?" Face asked, looking at Mike out of the corner of his eye.
      Mike cleared his throat.  "That's classified."
      "I'm sure."  Face laughed.  "You be good, ok?"
      "I will, and you make sure not to get your head taken over 
again."  Mike gave Face an evil grin.
      "And if I do, I know who to go to get the stuff out.  But I 
think you need to take some first aid classes, cause you don't have 
good scalpel skills, and you need to learn the meaning of 
anesthetic." 
      "So I'll get a training holo from Elassar before he leaves."  
Mike laughed as Face groaned.  "Though I happen to think that you 
deserved all that pain after what you did to my shirt."
      "It was an ugly shirt anyway," Face stated.  Mike shot him a 
glare, and Face chuckled.  He looked over and saw Crispy trying to 
avoid a Wookiee and laughed.  "Thanks again for keeping Crispy from 
killing me."
      "It was a mutual save," Mike shrugged.  "Keeping you both 
from killing each other and killing me.  Mind you, I don't expect to 
be doing that again."
      "Don't worry," Face said.  "I'll avoid madmen with secret 
underwater labs from now on."
      "Good." Mike held his hand out to Face.  "Take care, ok?"
      "I will.  You stay safe down here," Face responded.  The two 
shook hands and parted.  
      He looked over and saw that Dia was strapped into her new X-
Wing and was waiting for him.  Climbing up the ladder again, he waved 
to her, then got himself ready for takeoff.
      Soon, all the New Republic soldiers were ready for takeoff, 
and in a flourish all the ships lifted off at once.  Aiming for 
space, they left their new friends behind as they waved goodbye.
      "Face, this is Wedge," the Rogue leader's voice came over the 
comm.  "You're going to be long?"
      "No sir," Face responded.  "I should only be a few hours 
behind you."
      "Very well."
      "I'll be waiting for you, love," Dia called over the comm 
afterwards.
      "I'll be home soon, Dia."  He wouldn't let anyone follow him 
to the spaceport.  If he could do one last thing for Alison, it would 
be to keep the existence of Rent a Rogue a secret for her.