Project Boussh: I Love To Have A Beer With Ooryl
by Josh Nolan

More stormtroopers piled upon him, and the only way he could break free
was to kill.

Thrusting his hands into the black-and-white mass, he grabbed, tore,
dragging his way forwards, his arms covered with the blood of his
enemies.  Every time his hands broke through the shell and squashed the
softness inside, he could feel the same happening to him, but he
continued to kill.

The mass of the enemy was thick and suffocating, and he broke to the
surface just before he began to panic.  He stumbled up some stairs,
towards daylight -

He looked out over the Mendellian High Palace.  He could see the group
clustered together, laughing, blissfully unaware of what was to come.
He shrieked, waving his hands, trying to grab their attention, but they
failed to recognise the eviscerated corpse he had become.

And then the sky rained fire.

Vibrant shafts of emerald turbolaser fire smashed into the palace,
sending masonry and bits of his friends flying everywhere.  He looked up
into the bright blue sky, and saw the blast screaming down towards
him...

Josh awoke, his heart pounding, nausea slowly subsiding, as he stared
out at the smoke-filled sky.  He was curled up in a shaded nook on top
of one of the High Palace's towers, and must have fallen asleep there.
Slowly he dragged himself into a sitting position, still trying to fight
down the vividness of the nightmare.  *Daymare,* he corrected himself.
*It's been a bad day.*

Suddenly, Ooryl emerged with unnerving silence from the tower stairwell,
carrying two smallish brown-glass bottles that were adorned with blue
labelling.  Josh started at the Gand's sudden appearance, his nerves
still stretched rather taut from the dream.

"Good afternoon, Crispy," said Ooryl pleasantly as he walked over to
where Josh sat.  "I thought you might want a beer."  He sat down next to
Josh, and passed one of the moisture-covered bottles over.

Josh looked at Ooryl hurtfully before taking the bottle.  "Do you have
to call me that?"

"Ooryl believes it is more or less compulsory now."

"Great." Josh inspected the label, and began to chuckle.  "Foster's?"

"Ooryl was assured it was a beer from your homeland... and Ooryl seems
to recall a comparison between American beer and sex in a canoe?"

Josh half-grinned and nodded.  "Well, it *is* an Australian beer - but
it's not one we drink by choice.  I think the reason we export it is to
get it as far away from us as possible."

"If you could inform Qrygg as to which beer would -"

"Relax, Ooryl.  You did well.  It's cold, it's beer, that's the main
thing."  Josh grabbed the metal lid of the bottle and gave it a sharp
twist - but nothing happened.  He examined the lid more closely, and
said, "Bugger.  It's not a twist-top."

"Allow Ooryl."  The Gand accepted the bottle, flicked the lid off with
one swipe of his thumb, and passed it back.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it.  Ooryl ran into Mike on the way here, and he told me
very earnestly that I should have let the beer warm first."

"He would."

"Indeed.  Fortunately, Ooryl was not born yesterday."

Ooryl flicked the lid off his bottle, and the two males sat in silence
for a while, sipping their beer.  Finally, Josh spoke.  "So, what have
you been up to?"

"Not too much," Ooryl replied in the ritual response.  "Helped a bit
cleaning up some oil.  Got captured by a bunch of goons.  Escaped.  Here
Ooryl is.  How about you?"

"Aaah, nothing really.  Cabin was attacked.  Got away from there.  Broke
into the Palace.  Had a bit of a fight.  Got yelled at by Kristy.  Here
I am."

"You forgot to mention how you acquired your shirt."

Josh took a swig of his beer, and answered, "It was the only damn one
they had, okay?"

"Ooryl must say, to Ooryl's visible spectrum, it is a very ugly shirt
indeed."

"Yours and everyone else's, Ooryl, don't worry."

They sat in silence for a while again, when Ooryl asked, "What are your
thoughts on the next stage of the mission?"

Josh sighed, and turned his head to look Ooryl in the eye.  "We're
dead."

"Rather defeatist."

"Maybe, but realistic.  We've got to go up against a freaking ISD.  What
are our assets again?  The Rogues and Wraiths, of course, and maybe some
Mendellian TIEs.  We've got the Skate and Sci's shuttle -"

"The Gaia."

"Cool.  And those are the only ships we've got that can drop some people
on board to try and rescue Quiara, Wedge and Vickie and beat the crap
out of Brad.  And Pol.  Even if we make it past the Addy's fighter
screen, about the only place we can get in is the hangar bay.  I can
just see all the AT-ATs lined up ready to destroy anything that goes
into that hangar.  Failing that, maybe the thousands of properly trained
stormtroopers *might* be able to do something about us.  In my opinion,
it can't be done."

"But you are working with Rogue Squadron.  Impossible is our stock in
trade."

Josh nodded, a rueful grin on his face.  "That's why I'm assuming we'd
be able to get into the hangar bay.  Anyone else, and we'd be toast long
before then.  Two squadrons of starfighters and two transports against
an ISD?  I mean, if we had a month to plan, maybe, but this..." He shook
his head.  "I mean, if we had some capships, that would be something."

"There is a small fleet coming in-system soon.  Ooryl is not sure of its
makeup."

"Then why didn't you list that among our assets?"

"You didn't let Ooryl get a word in edgewise."

"Fine, put the blame on me."

"If you insist."

Josh scowled, and took a swig from his beer.  "What's this I keep
hearing about Alison and Atner?"

"She fought him, and defeated him."

"After he defeated Corran."

"That's right."

"And Atner wasn't so much as scratched."

"Correct."

"Why does that smell like bantha dung?"

"Have you ever smelt bantha dung?"

"No, but I imagine it would smell like that story.  I saw how badly
Alison was beaten up.  Am I supposed to believe that she could defeat
someone who'd just managed to beat the crap out of a *Jedi* without
breaking a sweat?"

"It would be helpful if you did."

"Come on Ooryl, I'm not a mushroom."

"...Ooryl is aware of that."

"I mean, stop keeping me in the dark and feeding me bantha dung."

"All right," said the Gand, and took a swig from his beer.  "This goes
no further, you understand?"

"Sure."

"Corran underestimated Eugor.  He was trying to cloud the man's mind,
distort his perceptions, but Atner's will came as a bit of a shock to
him."

"How do you know this?"

"Corran told me."

"Oh.  Keep going."

"Corran gave these efforts so much of his attention, that Atner was very
nearly able to land a blow on him, had Alison not intervened.  But he
did succeed."

"So it wasn't Alison's victory at all?"

"You misunderstand.  If Alison had not leapt into the fray, Corran may
well have been killed.  It was Ooryl's opinion that Alison, as injured
as she was, would have had trouble defeating a sick Jawa, let alone a
trained warrior.  Corran had not slowed Eugor down by a large degree,
but Alison was able to force him to make mistakes, and was somehow able
to defeat him.  Ooryl's estimation was obviously wrong - she deserves
the praise she is getting."

"So why isn't Corran claiming any of the credit?  He's Corellian, after
all."

"Ooryl was quick to spread a version of events that would make Corran
seem... childish... if he tried to claim his part.  Corran's ego does
require periodic deflating, after all."

Josh closed his eyes and chuckled.  "And here was I speculating about
exotic performance-enhancing drugs that Qwi..."  Josh hastily broke off
with some strange noises, indicating he'd just mispronounced a word, and
continued, "that *quite* frankly, was a huge flight of fancy."

Either Josh had actually managed to fool Ooryl, or the Gand was too
polite to enquire after the slip.  Ooryl chuckled.  "Ooryl thinks
perhaps your imagination can run away with you."  The Gand took another
swig of his beer.  "Ooryl has noticed more than a small amount of
romantic interest being transmitted between members of Terra Group.  Has
any, perchance, found its way to you?"

"Me?  Hell no.  Why should my luck change now?"

"Ooryl was only asking.  To be honest, Ooryl is glad that there does not
appear to be a great amount of xenophilia among the team.  It can be
most embarrassing."

"Had much experience with it?"

"Of the approach, yes, but Gand females are the only ones for Ooryl.
That doesn't mean Ooryl hasn't had offers, though.  And not all from
females."

"Being a Hero of the Alliance'll do that, eh?"

"Ooryl supposes so, but is at a loss to explain it."

Josh took another swig of beer.  "Women, eh?"

Ooryl took a swig in response, and replied, "Women."

In a kind of camaraderie that trancended species, the two males
continued to drink their beer in comfortable silence.