Project Boussh: Duelling Rants
by Josh Nolan

Nick danced away from Josh, his shoes crunching lightly in the snow.
Josh kept his feet light on the ground and his eye on Nick's chest,
focusing on his peripheral vision to warn him of his opponent's
movements.

Josh lifted his guard slightly, trying not to be too obvious about the
deception, hoping that Nick would fall for the bait.  Sure enough, Nick
jumped forward and batted a kick towards his knee.  Josh melted out of
the way and grabbed Nick's shin, looking up at Nick to see if he would
acknowledge the point without being dumped in the snow.

Nick's palm landed heavily on Josh's face, and Nick commented, "That
could have been a punch to your throat."

With a rueful smile, Josh nodded and released Nick's leg.  "I guess
Shalla taught you about that the hard way, eh?"

Nick nodded, rubbing his neck, a chuckle steaming in the freezing air.
"She's not really one for teaching the easy way, that's for sure."

Josh grinned, and rubbed his nose.  "Again?"

"Sure."

Immediately, Josh threw a quick straight right at Nick.  Nick rocked
back slightly, his arm speedily catching the punch and throwing it out
of line, while he responded with a right of his own.  Josh whipped his
right hand in a circle away from Nick's block, striking back under his
guard and into his ribs, while following a heavier left in towards
Nick.  Josh's left arm deflected Nick's strike, while Josh's hand landed
on Nick's face.  "I could have gone for the kidneys instead of the
ribs," Josh commented, "and, of course, that could have been a punch to
your throat."  Josh grinned.

"You know, that hand to the face thing kind of hurts," said Nick,
backing off a couple of steps, rubbing his nose.

"It does, doesn't it?" said Josh, cheerfully unsympathetic.

Nick shot him a grin.  "All right, no need to rub it in.  Again?"

Josh nodded.  "Ye - hang on."  He reflexively swayed back from the punch
Nick had already thrown at his solar plexus.  "I've gotta go talk to
someone."

Nick followed Josh's gaze, and saw a lone figure walking along in the
snow, more or less towards where the starfighters were stowed.  "You
want to talk to him?"

"Yeah.  If I start trying to kill him again, come and stop me, okay?"
Josh set off at a steady jog towards the figure.  "Brad!" he called out.

The figure paused and looked around.  As Brad recognised the person
running toward him, he continued walking, his pace a little faster than
before.  Josh ran a little faster, and called out, "Brad!  Wait up!"

Brad spun around at this, glaring at Josh as he approached.  "What the
hell do you want?"

Josh came to a halt about two metres away from Brad, his breath
steaming.  He met Brad's gaze calmly and said, "I want to apologise."

Brad was stunned for a second, his mouth flapping as he assimilated this
unexpected statement.  He recovered control of his mouth and asked, "For
what?"

Josh dipped his eyes to the ground, where Brad's footprints still stood
out faintly.  "For back at the hotel.  When I went psycho at you.  That
was way out of line."

Brad's eyes narrowed, and he asked, "What, you were going to let me go?"

Josh looked back up at him, expressionless.  "Of course not.  But I was
supposed to just restrain you, and I went way overboard.  After, I
guess, the knee to the groin, there was no call for any of that.  I'm
sorry."

Brad glared at Josh.  "You're sorry."

"Yeah."

"Not good enough," Brad snapped, and turned on his heel, marching away
from Josh, who spread his hands.

"Just letting you know the apology's there, that's all," Josh called at
Brad's retreating back.  Brad froze at this, and turned around slowly.

"The apology.  For beating me up a little harder than you had to.  I am
overwhelmed by your generosity," Brad said acidly.  "With everything
else you... people have done to me, it's *so* nice to know that a bit of
unnecessary violence is frowned upon by the New Republic.  But that's
nowhere near enough."

"Everything else?" Josh asked coolly.

"Yeah!  I join the mission in good faith, donating my own starfighter to
the cause.  Those things aren't cheap - and that gets Inquisitor Piggy
wondering how the hell I could afford it, because 'obviously no Terran
could afford one'.  While I'm off furthering the mission, he spends his
time violating my privacy, and when I come back I get some bloody
blasters stuck in my face, all because that blasted swine heard the
Imperial bloody March playing in my sodding cockpit!  I get chased off
the bloody planet and help fight off the One-Eighty bloody First but
sodding 'I, Jedi' Corran Horn decides he's not going to let me get away
with *that*!  Oh, no, that might actually be polite!  I get shot out of
the bloody sky and some Imperials come sniffing around - any wonder that
I joined up with them after *that* kind of welcome?

"But that's not enough.  Oh, no.  Not only do you bastards come tearing
into my life and blowing me up, you stun me stupid and then you
interrogate me by lying to me, and when things don't go the way you
want, it's open season on Brad.  Not one of you has tried to see my side
of things, not one of you has treated me with any kind of respect, and
not one of you will dream of an Imperial defecting.  Ever heard of Tycho
Celchu, huh?  Hobbie?  Biggs bloody Darklighter?  Oh no, they're Heroes
of the Rebellion, but Brad Corletti's just a traitor, isn't he?  Just
take him outside and have him shot, no bloody courtmartial or anything,
oh no, not for Brad, he's a traitor!  The New Republic has a truckload
of things to apologise to me about, not just a couple of knocks!"

Josh had stood throughout the tirade stoically, and now he raised his
hand, holding his index and middle fingers up from his fist.  "Two
things."  He lowered his middle finger.  "First off, most of that was
nothing to do with me."  He raised the finger again, and said
forcefully,  "Second - how much of a moron are you?"

Brad recoiled slightly from that, but Josh ploughed on regardless.  "You
come into an intel operation with a honking great piece of heavy
artillery, and then you're cagey about how you got it.  Now, since in
intel operations, secrets are what get people killed, and you're keeping
a secret about how a Terran, even one that's served on Home One, can get
their grubby mitts on a bloody fully-armed B-Wing!  You don't think that
maybe, just maybe, Piggy was a little concerned that if you could have
gotten one, that meant anyone with the right connections could get one?
Oh, no, I forgot.  You wanted to live in your little fantasy land, where
everyone revolves around Brad Corletti, Mystery Man.  You don't even
come up with a plausible story, you just evade the question, so Piggy
has to have a look for himself.  He doesn't like what he finds, he
doesn't know what you're hiding up your arse, so he decides to question
you at gunpoint, so you pull some frigging combat droid out of your arse
and take off.

"You get into orbit where Vickie tries to talk to you, and, sure, you
help fight off the 181st.  Hooray for you.  Then you *open fire* on your
own bloody wingman, and shoot her out of the bloody sky.  Next time we
see you, you're head of a bloody Imperial base - which is pretty hard to
do for an innnocent civilian, isn't it?  We take you prisoner, we try
and use a non-violent way to question you.  What happened next is the
first thing in this entire stupid tale that we have to apologise for,
and lo and behold, I've done it.  You dug your own bloody hole, you
idiot, and now you're whinging like a kid with a broken toy because you
have to lie in it.  Grow up and take it like a man, not a frigging
two-year-old."

Brad shook his head, returning Josh's glare.  "I'm not acting like a
two-year-old with a broken toy.  My B-wing's broken and I haven't
mentioned that once.  Likewise the droid.  No, my outrage is over what
the Rebel Alliance has become.  I've been furthering the goals of the
Alliance, but is that good enough for the Republic? Of course not!  They
have to poke and pry and dig into our sordid pasts.  Guess what?  I'm
not an angel.  I've got things to atone for.  As do you."

As Brad drew in breath to continue, Josh interrupted, "You still don't
get it, do you?  You can't have your cake and eat it too, no matter what
kind of bull about the Alliance and the Republic you dress it up in."
Josh shook his head and turned away.  "The apology stands, but you're
still a moron."

Brad scowled after Josh as he walked back towards Nick.  "You think
Piggy's going to let that atrocity you call an Ewok farm go unpunished?
The instant the mission's over he'll be down on you like a ton of
bricks!"

Josh shook his head, and kept walking.