Project Bossk: Dark Lords Of The Spam
by Policrat'

From the bridge of the ISD _Nashville_, Darth Brooks studied the planet
which was his destination. Once, he had called it home. Now, thanks to the
nefarious activities of a small Rebel cell, it had become just another exploited
backwater of the New Republic. They had even renamed it... Terra. 

Darth Brooks spat in contempt. He was the sort of Sith Lord who called a spork
a spork. But, he considered grimly, his mission had strategic reasons as well.

The New Republic needed spam to feed its front-line troops in the ongoing war
with the Empire, and Terra... _Earth_, the Sith Master reminded himself... had
been seduced into membership only to enable clans of jawas to infiltrate
themselves into the economy and buy up vast tracts of North America, setting up spam
farms and illegal war-droid factories. And the Ewok ranches which until then had
dominated Earth's interplanetary trade were closed down by the New Republic's
moralizing leaders.
  
But now the Empire, in the form of Darth Brooks, his apprentice Lord Bluegum, and
their fleet of Star Destroyers, had come to Terra... 
  
At last he would reveal himself to the Terra Groupies... and he would tear the
scales from their eyes and tell them the truth they could not bear to face...