Project Boussh: Epilogue: Contemplation of Power by Brad Corletti The events of the last day swirl through my mind in a haze. The sheer impossibility of it all hammers at my rational mind. I've got the Force. I've got superpowers. I think I've got superpowers. They're *impossible*. I should have died on the bridge of the _Admonitor_. Mile-long warships might be implausible, but at least they're explainable through science. How does science go up against the Force? Can it ever explain the tapping of ethereal energies through the mind? Is it some quirk of cosmic chemistry that allows a select few to do the impossible? I'm alive, but only because the impossible happened. I'm dead. I'm alive. I'm Schroedinger's cat. When will the door be opened? How do the Jedi handle it, I wonder. Are they content to be simple tool users, throwing the Force around through sheer force of will, like somebody using a jackhammer as club? They have their safe usage guidelines (Do not use Force while wet), but do they really understand it? Everything is explainable. Nothing is beyond understanding. It is the centrepiece of my mind, the foundation my life is built on. Place power module A into socket B and the droid awakens. Adjust the silicate composition of the power conduits to modify the operational parameters. One plus one equals two, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, F=ma. What is the opposite reaction to the Force? When you push something with the Force, why don't you get pushed back? Repulsorlifts might seem magical but at least they operate according to the Laws of physics. Power goes in, power goes out. Where does the Force come from? And why is the Force moral? Why is the Force divided into two halves? Why does the Force allow itself to be used as a weapon in some cases but not others? How does it tell what is good or evil? Does it? It doesn't seem to be that way from the evidence I've seen. What about me? Was it some freak accident, a twisting of probabilities? Was I just lucky on a colossal scale? It's *possible* that every shot fired at me would curve away in response to some stacked, recurring freak event of the air... ... but it's even less plausible than what must have happened. Science and rationality isn't about being dogmatic and closeminded. Obviously, something tipped Fate's hand, skewed reality in my favour. Just because nobody's come up with a formula for it doesn't mean it can't have happened. Take gravity, for example. Earth's scientists haven't figured out *why* all matter is attracted to every other bit of matter, but it is. Galactic science has figured it out, hence the repulsorlift and artificial gravity technologies. While one has mastered gravity, both acknowledge its reality. It's possible for me to have been gifted unusual abilities. It's not necessarily understandable but it's real. So why me? Why have I been chosen, when there are so many others more selfless, more heroic, more daring, more moral? Is it because I live in the world of the grey that I have been chosen by whoever chooses these things? "Exactly". A voice intrudes on my thoughts. "You see the world with the proper degree of clarity. You understand that sometimes the greater good is served through the lesser evil." The lesser evil? I am the lesser evil. I have not served the greater good. I manufactured droids the Empire used to strengthen its hold on the last remnants of its space. My own selfishness has caused so much suffering. "If you know the negative, you know the positive." I know the negative. With alarming perfection I see myself in the cockpit of a B-wing, hurtling through space, lining up a fellow pilot in my sights. I see myself pulling the triggers, sending ion bolts into the fragile A-wing, penetrating its shields. Electrical convulsions seize the A-wing, sending it towards the atmosphere. A life in danger by my own selfish hand. I know the positive. On the bridge of the _Admonitor_, staring Grand Admiral Thrawn in the face, a man dead yet somehow not. The blaster in my hand, flaring out, ending the Chiss' life. Murder of a defenceless man. Yet that man would have brought more death to the galaxy, starting with my homeworld, if I had not stopped him. If I had not slain him, knowing the entire time that I could never leave that bridge alive. You spared me, then. "Do you recall our first meeting?" No. Vague hints of memory, but nothing substantial. "I laid there the seeds of your redemption. One is living and yet dead, one is dead yet alive. You returned them to their proper condition. In return I granted you protection, so that you may live beyond this. The protection is not with you now, but your life is. Spend it wisely."