Project Boussh: Epilogue: By Any Other Name
by Josh Cochran and Josh Nolan

Josh was minding his own business, passing through the crowd with a 
cold drink in his hand when a shout of "JOSH!" caught his ear. He 
turned to see Becki and Kristy looking back and forth between him and 
that...other...Josh.

Cochran waved his hand dismissively at Nolan. "I think she was 
talking to me."

"Nah, mate.  I don't think so... I'm Josh, have been from the 
beginning. You're just the new guy." Nolan gave Cochran his most 
irritating drunken smile.

"*Just* the new guy!?" Cochran sputtered. He pointed to a chunk of 
debris streaking through the sky. "Who do you think did that?"

"Uh-oh," Kristy groaned. "We're gonna need a pin here soon."

Nolan plowed ahead as if he hadn't heard her at all. "You think you 
did that all by yourself? Bloody arrogant Yank!"

"Maybe not, but if I hadn't come along when I did you'd still be in 
the prison tower!"

"Oh is that so? At least *I* used a blaster to shoot all my stormies!"

"And *I* got to fly an X-Wing!"

"Ooryl called me Josh first!"

"I'm older and wiser!"

"I'll concede 'older'!"

"Oh yeah?  *I* didn't arm Ewoks!"

"And I didn't light up the ocean!"

"I got shot a whole lot less!"

"I was in bacta before you'd even gotten off your arse!"

"Yeah?  Well I went into bacta after my first time out with you 
people!"

"HEY!" Kristy yelled at him. "Look, I'll solve this! We'll just call 
you Psych and Crisp."

Becki chuckled. "Sounds like a bad name for a bad amateur band..." 

"New TG mission: Josh and The Other Josh form their own garage band, 
Psych and Crisp!"

Josh and Josh shot bewildered looks at each other, then at 
Kristy. "Just how much have *you* had to drink?" Nolan asked her.

Cochran, not content to let the matter go without a clear victory, 
pushed on. "You may have been around longer, but I'm the new and 
improved model! Proven to have 50% less preservatives and fillers and 
80% fewer carcinogens than other Joshes!"

"In other words, won't last as long and won't grow on you nearly as 
well!"

"Carcinogens promote growth? What the hell?? You need to go back to 
high school science!" 

"What's a cancer, dude? A collection of cells that grow and grow and 
grow... carcinogens certainly promote growths."

"*Growths*, not growth, you ignorant nerfherder!"

"Anyway, the phrase was 'grow on you', which I think cancers do quite 
well, thank you." 

"So what you're saying is that you're like a terminal disease, right?"

"No one gets over me, that's right. 'New and improved', indeed!  Who 
have you got doing your marketing?" 

"It's outsourced to Becki." 

"Becki - you'd better be doing this pro bono!"

"She needed a hobby."

"Poor girl."

"No kidding."

"Yeah... uh... you're just lucky I'm nice!" Nolan slurred. "Uh... or 
I could have been mean! Yeah!"

"Oh no! Oh please mister wussy boy, don't hurt me!"

"Who are you calling a wuss, huh?  You come in here, with your 'I'm 
so  tall,' your 'I gotta tell you something,' and you expect us to 
just BOW down?" Nolan spread his arms wide, encompassing the circle 
of Terrans and New Republic people that had formed around the two of 
them. Taking on the air of a strutting Shakespearean actor, he spoke 
directly to the crowd. "Well, BOW down if you want!  BOW before the 
king of slime.  The king of filth. The king of PUTRESCENCE!  Not me!  
BOO!  BOO!" He took an enormous swig from the bottle in his hand and 
disappeared into the crowd.

Cochran groaned loudly and buried his head in his hands. "What's 
wrong?" Becki asked.

"I just realized...he's my flight leader..."