Project Boussh: Banter And A Destination
by Josh Nolan

"Don't you understand that you've been brainwashed?" demanded Nick
explosively.

 Josh shrugged.  "I know I've been in a bacta tank where
indoctrination tapes have been playing.  I don't see the problem - I
remain loyal to the New Republic, my enthusiasm for the mission is
unparalleled, and I am ready to obey orders.  Why are you so uptight?"

 Nick regarded Josh for a few seconds, and shook his head.  "Will you
listen to yourself?  'My enthusiasm for the mission...' You never used
to talk like that."

 "Well, I'm glad I pulled my socks up, then.  A good soldier must
always make his enthusiasm clear."

 Nick threw his arms up in frustration, and began to turn away from
Josh - then he froze.  Slowly, he swung around and looked at Josh
 quizzically.  "Are you messing with my head?"

 A ghost of a smile played around Josh's deadpan expression.  "A
little."

 Nick pointed a finger at Josh, and resolutely said, "You are a
bastard."

 Josh held up his hand.  "Hey!  I was as startled as you were when I
apologised about sounding insubordinate, okay?  I find myself saying
these brainless G.I things and I can hardly stop myself.  Then you
started making a fuss, and I stopped trying."

 "So it had some effect?" Nick asked, lowering his hand.

 "Definitely.  Surprise me with a call of 'ten-hut' and see how I
react. Or, better still, don't."

 A cry of "Ten-HUT!" rang out from near the TIE fighter, and Josh
sprang into a rigid posture, chest stuck out.  Ooryl sauntered out
from underneath the TIE's cockpit and grinned.  "At ease, soldier,"
the Gand added.

 Josh said, "With respect, sir..." and trailed off, grimacing.  He
raised his head again and pointed at Ooryl, snarling, "Don't do that
again, bugboy, or I'll do something we'll both regret."  Ooryl cocked
his head at Josh, unused to such aggression from the Terran, and Josh
added, "Sir."  Josh grimaced again, and covered his head in his arms.

 Ooryl shook his head and tutted gently.  "Ooryl might say you are in
for a reprimand for that."  Josh looked up, his face white.  "But
Ooryl does not mind, and you are waaaaay to sensitive."  The Gand's
mouthparts moved in a smirk.

 Nick grinned at Josh.  "Looks like you've been teaching Ooryl some of
your bad habits, Josh."

 Josh rolled his eyes.  "I guess so.  But at least *I* don't pick on
people who've been brainwashed."

 *******

 Josh squinted at the datapad Nick was holding, depicting a
satellite-eye view of the eastern Australian coastline.  "Let's see if
I got this straight.  Vickie went after Brad, trying to talk some
sense into him. They were set upon by the freaking *181st*, and Brad
helped her and Corran fight 'em off, and the mysterious A-Wing pilot
also lent a hand. So after beating off the squints, Brad and the
A-Wing opened *fire* on each other, Brad shooting the A-Wing down and
then *rescues* the pilot, before crashing himself.  And Vickie lets
them do this."

 Nick nodded.  "Sounds about right."

 Josh shut his eyes for a second, and said, "I'm having trouble
figuring out who's got fewer marbles - Brad or Vickie."

 Nick ruminated for a while, and said, "Brad.  He's definitely a few
sandwiches short of a picnic."

 Josh turned to where Ooryl was sitting cross-legged.  "What do you
reckon, Ooryl?  Is Brad crazier than... Oh.  We'd better start
packing."

 Nick looked at Ooryl, and noticed the intent yet distant stare that
the Gand was directing at his datapad.  He waved his hand in front of
the datapad, trying to elicit some response, but Ooryl's gaze did not
even flicker.  Nick looked at Josh.  "Findsman?"

 Josh nodded.  "Findsman."

 As if these words were an invocation, Ooryl stood and walked woodenly
to Nick's datapad.  He prodded a finger at one point on the map, and
said, "Here.  I say we go here."

 "He used his pronoun.  He's serious," called Josh over his shoulder,
as he went to gather the Ewoks.

 Nick examined the map curiously.  "Josh?"  he called.

 "Yeah?" answered Josh, carefully trying to get an Ewok to point its
blaster somewhere other than Nick.

 "It looks like we're going to Melbourne."