Project Boussh: At Break of Day by Durandir It seemed to Becki that she had only just drifted off into a much- needed sound sleep when she was abruptly reawakened by the shock of something heavy landing with a *plop* on her legs. She leaned forward, blinking against the darkness; at first she could not recognize the something, but then its purring gave it away. "Macavity!" she sighed. "It's the middle of the night. Can't you let me sleep?" The cat padded toward the sound of her voice, finally coming to a stop near enough to tickle her nose with his long whiskers. "This," she grumbled, "is what comes of taking all those catnaps during the day. You spend your nights prowling and keeping me awake. Go away, cat." She rolled over and tried to hide her head under the pillow; but Macavity, not at all put off by his person's ill manners, only purred louder and set himself to kneading at her back. When his claws joined in the kneading, Becki gave a startled cry and sat up, sweeping the cat onto the floor. He quickly regained his composure and gazed up at her complacently, while she glared down at him, rubbing at her back. "All right, then," she said at last. "You're determined, I see. What is it, Cavver?" Macavity blinked mildly at her, then turned and sauntered toward the door. Just before reaching it, he paused, looking back at her with a very clear are-you-coming look on his furry face. She sighed. "You want me to follow." Macavity blinked again and pawed at the door. "Well, I'm not going to get any sleep otherwise, I suppose..." She reluctantly stood up, grabbed the robe Kirret had loaned her, quickly tied it over the nightgown she'd found in the closet of the room that was hers for the night, and followed the cat out the door. ~ "I just hope I'll be able to find my way back," Becki murmured, her anxiety growing as Macavity continued to lead her through the Palace, up stairs and down stairs and never stopping long in any chamber. But mostly he seemed to be leading her up stairs, and up a great many of them, so that it should not perhaps have surprised her when they suddenly emerged from an especially steep stairwell and she found herself atop one of the Palace's many towers. What did surprise her was to step out of the darkness of the stairwell and suddenly be surrounded by all the stars of the sky, with starlight and moonlight, the smell of the sea and the gentle night breeze all rushing to greet her at once. The sky was clear, now that the smoke of the burning ocean had mostly dissipated, and the stars--exotic in their unfamiliar equatorial constellations--seemed nearer than she'd ever seen them. She drew in her breath in a delighted gasp, letting it out more slowly while she turned around in a circle to take it all in, wondering if she could spot Orion the X-wing from here. "Oh," she whispered, "it's so beautiful!" "Yes," a voice came from behind her, making her jump. "There is no better place in all the Palace for stargazing." With relief she recognized the voice. "Thayer!" she cried, spinning around to see him leaning against the wall there, smiling at her, Macavity now purring at his feet. "What are you doing here? Don't you ever sleep?" "Sometimes," he laughed. "But tonight...after all that's happened..." "You didn't sleep last night, either," she scolded. "You'll wear yourself out." Thayer raised an eyebrow at her concern. "I'm accustomed to going without sleep, you know. But for my first night back in the Palace...well," he glanced up towards the glittering heavens, "one can never see the stars very well from the caverns. And this *is* the best place in the Palace for stargazing." "Oh," she smiled uncertainly, following his glance. "Oh! Look, it's Orion! The X-wing." "X-wing?" He looked at her curiously. "If you look at it sideways...see? Wedge's symbol..." Her smile faltered. "And tonight he's somewhere out there among the stars, and Vickie, and Quiara, and here we are..." "And tomorrow you must go to find them." "Yes," she sighed, turning towards him. She noticed three things simultaneously as she did so: that Macavity seemed unusually content, with a gleam almost of mischief in his golden eyes, winding around Thayer's legs; that while Thayer in his sleeplessness was still dressed as he had been throughout the day, she herself was now in nightgown and robe, not exactly presentable; and that somehow he seemed to be standing nearer her now than when he'd first spoken. But had he moved or had she? She blushed and looked away, pulling the robe closer about her. "I wish I could go with you," he murmured. "To rescue our friends from the Admonitor?" she laughed. "But you're Dictator now. Your heart is here, in Mendellia..." Her voice trailed off under the weight of the look he was giving her, so intent, his eyes so bright even in starlight. Thayer looked away suddenly, gazing out over the shadowy landscape of his country. As the minutes passed, the weight of the silence began to grow oppressive. Just when Becki was about to speak again, to say anything just to break that silence, he looked back to her, and she held her tongue under the intensity of his gaze. His next words startled her as much for the abruptness with which they shattered the silence as for the surprise of what he said: "Do you know," he said quietly, gravely, "that I was to have married Kirret?" She stood in astonishment a moment before answering. "Kir? But..." "It was never anything official," he went on quickly, saving her from having to say more, "certainly nothing legally binding. Simply...our fathers' intention for us. Old Lord Xarim was her father, you see, and of the nobles in those days he was always the most loyal to my father. So while we both were yet barely old enough to speak, Enad called Lord Xarim to him and said, Lord Xarim, it is a fine daughter that you have there. And Lord Xarim said, Sire, you honor me to say so. And my father said, I have, as you know, a son and royal heir, in whose interest I must take thought for the future. I would have him well matched with a noble queen; and it seems to me that great joy would come of an alliance between our two noble houses. And Xarim said, Sire, be it as you wish; the house of Xarim is ever your loyal servant. And that was that." Despite herself, she had to laugh at his story, the way his voice slipped into the mannerly inflections of the speakers he was imitating. "And that was that?" "Well, that's how it started. After that...we grew up in the knowledge that we were intended for each other. Kirret spent a good part of her time in the Palace, for they were grooming her to be a suitable Queen, you see. And then when we reached school age, we were at school together, at Darwinia. We..." He looked away again, staring vaguely out to sea. "We were inseparable in childhood; Kir's been my best friend all through our lives. Neither one of us ever doubted our future: I would be King and she would be my Queen. It was simply something inevitable, like the sea-tides and the stars in the sky. Our fathers wished it, and so..." "And you wished it too?" she asked quietly when he did not continue. "We never thought to wish otherwise. Not then. We were content." He sighed and looked back to her. "And then Eugor killed my father, and both her parents. Suddenly things no longer seemed so inevitable." "Oh, Thayer..." "No, let me finish," he said, the intent gaze returning. "Eventually, you know, we all found our way to the caverns, I and all those who would fight with me against my uncle. And the very first to join me there were my two dearest friends...Kirret, of course, and also Reth, whom I'd come to know in the Air Force. He, like a brother to me, and she, dearer than any sister..." "And...your fathers' intentions?" "Dead with them. Our friendship remained, of course, but Kirret and I...well, perhaps, truly, we were actually glad not to have to think of our fathers' intentions any longer. There was no longer, despite Reth's assurances, any certainty that I would be King or even Dictator. Kirret, I think, was rather relieved to no longer face the certainty that she would be Queen. And," he smiled, "the way she quarreled with Reth, early in the cavern days...His refusal to look on any other side of things but the bright one always seemed to infuriate her...but perhaps it's no wonder that she fell for him, because he would quarrel right back, yet without ever being angry. It was all great fun to him. And anyway, I think he had determined to marry her the very first moment he saw her..." "And in this case his optimism was justified?" Becki smiled. "They do make a lovely couple." "It cheers me to see them together," he nodded. "At least, most of the time..." "And..." she asked finally, hesitantly, "you don't hold it against Reth that he won her away from you?" "Grace, no," he laughed. "I never really had her to begin with. And I could see well enough how much she loves him, though she tried so hard at first not to. I like the fact that I shall have both my best friends together in one, once they are married; it is rather convenient that way, you see," he winked. "And besides all that..." He grew serious again; once again he fixed her with that intent gaze, and he reached for her hands. She was startled to realize that he was even closer to her now than the last time she'd noticed. Had they both been moving as he spoke? But...oh dear. He was still leaning against the wall, where she'd first seen him. So, then, she... "Besides all that?" she asked quickly, feeling the blush return to her cheeks. "Besides all that," he continued, "how should I worry over Reth winning Kir from me, when my own heart has been stolen away as well? It is not Kirret that I want." She whispered, "Who then?"--dread words, but they had to be said. "Can you not guess?" And with that, he bent and kissed her, ever so gently. It seemed an infinity, though in truth it cannot have been but a brief time. When at last they parted, she stood staring up at him in wonder, feeling somehow that she ought to be more surprised; and yet...there was only wonder in it, wonder and delight. But it was too much; the brightness of his eyes...she broke away suddenly, turning to look out to sea and to catch her breath. "I do love nothing in the world so well as you..." said he at last. "Is not that strange?" she whispered to herself, grinning but not yet turning to face him. "As strange as the thing I know not..." He stepped forward tentatively, reaching for her yet hesitant to touch her. "Do not you love me?" he whispered. She laughed a little, murmuring under her breath, too low for him to hear, "No more than reason." And then she turned, smiling, to fall into his waiting embrace. "Is that a yes?" There was a hopeful amusement in his voice. "Ever so much yes, Thayer," she laughed. And he in return laughed for sheer joy, holding her close; and the stars above shone down on them, seeming to twinkle in approval. "But is it possible?" she whispered at last. "I mean...Kirret is...and I'm just...that is..." She sighed and looked up to find the stars reflected in his eyes. "I feel as if I'd stepped into a fairy tale somehow. You won't disappear at midnight or anything like that, will you?" He laughed, reaching up to brush a curl away from her face. "It's well past midnight already, Becki." "Maybe at sunrise, then," she countered playfully. "With the first light of day you'll fade away, and I will wake up and realize I've just been dreaming and--ow!" She looked down to see Macavity, stretching up to sharpen his claws on her shin. He purred and looked up at her helpfully. "Of course. Thank you, Macavity," she said dryly. "Now I'm quite sure I'm awake." Thayer laughed and kissed her again. "There now. Does that convince you you're awake?" A sly grin crept over her face, and she cocked her head to one side and said, "I wonder what you'd do if I said no? But--I don't think I want to find out what Macavity would do if I said no. Yes, I'm quite convinced. But Thayer...when...how long have you..." "Loved you?" he finished. "I might say, since I first saw you, running away from this Palace; but...No. I think, when I first knew, it was the morning after that, in the caverns--when you declared that my eyes were bright with joy." "Did I say that?" she laughed. "Oh, goodness. I should not be allowed to speak when I'm short on sleep..." "And yet you were right," he smiled. "Or at least, what you said came true. It's you who have made it true, you know." "Then I'm glad," she said. "As for me...goodness, when did I first love you? I hardly know...I only came to it gradually, I think, and only just now realized it." "Just in time," he grinned. "And look--" he took her hand and turned her toward the east. "Sunrise!" she laughed. "And neither one of us has disappeared. Convinced now?" "I am content." He held her close again, and they stood watching as morning broke over the horizon. Then, after a few minutes-- "Thayer," she giggled, pulling away from him, "your stomach is growling. When did you eat last?" "Ah...well--" he flushed, trying to remember. "It's been a long day..." "And you've not slept nor eaten. Well, come on, my dear Dictator; find me a kitchen and let's see about breakfast." "We do have cooks for that, love," he insisted. "You don't have to--" "But I want to. Anyhow, pancakes always taste best when you make them yourself and eat them fresh off the griddle..." "Well, then," he shrugged, "as you wish." He took her hand, and they set off together down the stairs. Macavity slipped ahead of them, trotting along with tail held high. After a few steps he glanced back at the two humans following. Thayer grinned and winked at the cat. Macavity, ever purring, blinked in reply, then turned back to lead them on down into the Palace.