Project Boussh: Another Dimension
by Josh Nolan

Josh was rapidly coming to the conclusion that zero-gee sucked.

For one thing, he kept slamming into walls way too hard - it was even
worse if he'd tried to leap a long way.  One's legs are used to pushing
against 9.8 metres a second squared, so they propel one at a
surprisingly high speed in its absence.

For another, he was starting to get an inkling of why Einstein described
space in a gravity well as 'curved'.  Josh couldn't propel himself to
where he wanted to go - he always found himself falling short, or
overshooting, or just going off at some stupid angle.  Straight-line
trajectories were difficult to get used to.

For a third thing, he couldn't get his body to behave.  His inner ears
told him he was falling.  When he was lucky, his senses told him he was
standing still (or, more often, spinning weirdly in the air, having just
hit a wall badly).  His stomach generously tried to mediate by wanting
to empty itself.

Even through all this, he was sure that he could grow to like it if it
wasn't for all the people trying to kill him.

There had been a power surge - or failure - a short while before.  The
lights had gone out while Josh was sprinting down a corridor, attempting
to evade the remnants of a stormtrooper squad, when suddenly it felt
like the floor had given way beneath him.  Then the lights came back on,
and Josh's helmet slammed against the ceiling of the corridor, sending
him spinning back towards the floor.  It was only after he had been able
to steady himself that he realised he was gripping a wall-mounted
console, and vertigo set in in earnest.

The Ewoks around him had fared little better - in fact, some of them
were caught, frantically thrashing and yubbing, almost motionless in the
middle of the corridor space  - the result of unfortunate or unwise
mid-air collisions.  There was even a cloud of Ewok vomit slowly making
its way towards one of the walls.

The cloud of ick was the first casualty of a stormtrooper's blaster bolt
- which then went on to drill into a drifting Ewok's back.  The Ewok's
scream galvanised the rest of the Ewoks to try and return fire - a
tactic that instantly created a storm of spinning, yelling, floating
Ewoks firing blaster bolts at random.

The stormtroopers remained unfazed by the streaks of deadly fire
screaming past them, and leapt handily from wall to wall, firing into
the mass of Ewoks as they came.  Josh fired a few shots, but his aim was
off - his arms were used to supporting the weight of the blaster, and
the troopers were a fair distance away.  One stormie caught a blaster
bolt in his chest, and slammed into the next wall heavily, bouncing off
and drifting into the corridor, tripping up another stormtrooper in the
process.  Josh took the opportunity to shoot the drifting live trooper,
and it seemed his aim was true this time.

The remaining stormie kept coming, his bounding motion enough to save
him from the shots of the still-flailing Ewoks.  Another Ewok died, then
another, until finally Josh nailed the stormie's chest-plate dead
centre.  The stormie twitched once, mid-leap, then crashed head-first
into the floor.  At least, Josh thought it was the floor - it was
getting difficult to tell.

"All right!" Josh barked over the squealing yubs.  "Calm down, let's
sort this mess out!"  Carefully, he began leaping through the cloud of
Ewoks, grabbing some of the furry soldiers on each pass and transporting
them to the walls.  A disturbing number of them were limp and
motionless.  After attaching the Ewoks to the walls, Josh did a quick
count, and his stomach clenched.  Of the twenty Ewoks that had been with
him, that brief encounter had killed fourteen.  He was sure of it, now -
zero-gee did suck.

*******

"Canis Lead, Terra Five.  I'm stuck in zero-gee, here, and I've just
lost fourteen Ewoks.  Any assistance here?"

"Terra Five, Canis Lead.  You're floating?"

"Negative - but I'd appreciate a bit of backup here."

"Sorry to break this to you, kid, but most of us are busy keeping a lid
on that Korak and his Ewoks.  I'll see who I can send."

"Cheers, Canis Lead.  Five out."

*******

Okay.  It wasn't just zero-gee that sucked.  Brad frigging Corletti's
frigging combat droids sucked big time, too.  The shiny metal bastards
walked along the floors, completely ignoring the lack of gravity, and
almost seemed to fire Ewok-seeking blaster bolts.  The bloody things
were also nearly impossible to kill.

This last one, for example.  Josh had shot it three times in the head,
walked God knows how many shots up and down its torso, blown its main
weapon arm off and even shot it in the groin for good measure - and the
thing was still moving, albeit drifting.  The two Ewoks still alive were
injured from near-misses, and the droid was reaching for them with a
spare manipulator hand.  Becki's high C's had saved a godawful amount of
trouble in the High Palace.

Josh yanked his lightsabre from his belt and thumbed it on.  The bright
pink blade leapt out of the handle in a snap-hiss, and the bacta-patched
Aussie launched himself on a fly-past of the creaking droid.  He reached
out, sliding the glowing line through the droid's wreckage, slicing it
in half, spitting sparks where power conduits had been severed.  The
pieces gave one spasmodic jerk and finally stilled, though they
continued to drift towards a wall, or the ceiling, or something.  Josh
sheathed the lightsabre before he reached the end of his trajectory, and
caught onto the wall to get his bearings.

He was on a wall, all right.  Under normal gravity, this section would
be a T-intersection with a door that opened facing down the shaft of the
T.  From where Josh was crouched, however, that corridor was a deep pit,
and some part of his brain seemed to think it would be a bad idea to be
over it if the gravity came back on.  *Instincts*, Josh thought.  *Can't
live with 'em, can't live without 'em.*

Motioning the Ewoks to the wall behind him - which took a while, since
they had to push off each other to get anywhere - Josh pulled himself
along one-handed and looked down the pit.  The shock of seeing a squad
of stormtroopers less than twenty metres away was only surpassed by the
shock of one of them saying in an emotionless tone, "Target dead
ahead."  The flurry of blaster bolts that followed, unfortunately, were
old hat.

Josh quickly pulled his head back around the corner, proving in the
process his zero-gee reflexes were still undeveloped - he yanked himself
off the wall and went drifting across the corridor all too slowly..
"Fall back!" he yelped at the Ewoks, who obediently began bounding off
away from the intersection.  Josh's stomach redoubled its efforts to
empty itself as he heard the clanks of the stormtroopers rebounding off
the walls.  He threw a desparate glance at the approaching floor - still
too far, moving too slowly.  *Still, if they're wanting to come after
us, the first one should appear about...*

The red blaster bolt was on its way even before the first stormie's head
entered Josh's line of sight.  The shot caught the stormie direct on the
faceplate before the soldier had finished his leap, causing a spasm that
set the corpse adrift.  Josh fired a few more shots, hoping to catch
another of them, and threw another glance at the floor.  He was nearly
there.  Finally.

Josh swung his legs around toward the floor and kicked off, sending
himself flying down the corridor.  By the time the second stormie had
appeared out of the pit, he'd managed to bounce off the ceiling without
getting in his own way, and opened fire on the stormies.

There was good and bad about Josh's situation.  The bad part was that
with having to throw his weight around, to keep track of the walls and
not land badly, he was having a hellish time firing accurately at the
gathering stormies.  The good part was that the same was true for them -
but once the stormies started closing, that would probably change.

All of a sudden, a voice yelled something in a language that wasn't
English and one of the stormies twitched, fell limp and slammed into the
floor near the pit.  As some of the other stormies turned to face the
new threat, Josh could make out the green skin of a Rodian in New
Republic armour - presumably Lezterp - bouncing around like a pro
further behind the stormies.  Of course, the new threat wasn't enough to
divert the fire of the stormies shooting at Josh, but, fortunately, the
stormies soon found themselves with something else to worry about - the
doors above the pit opened and disgorged Bracca.

Josh had always assumed there was an element of exaggeration to stories
of Wookiees tearing people's arms out of their sockets, but the grisly
truth was making itself known in front of the Terran's eyes.  Josh knew
as he watched that he would never be able to forget the sight of the
armless stormtrooper, slowly spinning in the midst of an arterial
spiral, calmly calling out his location and his request for urgent
medical assistance while the Wookiee behind him continued her slaughter.

Finally, all the stormies had stopped moving, except for the occasional
crimson spurt from an exposed socket.  Bracca braced herself to actually
stand on the floor, and roared in triumph, apparently not noticing the
blaster burns that pockmarked her armour.  Josh picked his way over to
her, and asked, "Are you okay?"

Bracca roared something, and Josh looked helplessly at Lezterp for a
translation.  The Rodian shrugged.  "She sayzz she hazz had worzze."
One of the Rodian's eyes glinted in what Josh assumed was supposed to be
a wink, and he continued, "At leazzt it zzeemzz she hazz dezzided to
keep her fur thizz time."

Bracca roared something in response, and the Rodian wheezed in what Josh
hoped was a chuckle - if it wasn't, it was probably respiratory
failure.  Lezterp clapped the Terran on his shoulder, somehow managing
not to send either of them drifting, and said, "You should probably
gather up your Ewokzz - the corporal says we should start heading for
the bridge."

"So the whole confusion-and-blow-stuff-up plan's changed?"

The Rodain nodded.  "Word hazz come through that zzeveral of the teamzz
have had problemzz - zzome have even been captured."  Lezterp tilted his
head.  "You did not hear thizz on the comlink?"

Josh shook his head.  "Nope - but maybe it came through when I was up
against one of those eighteen squads of stormies, or those bloody Defel
droids -"

"Eighteen zzquadzz?"

"More like six.  And with heavy casualties each time."

Lezterp shot a glance at the two Ewoks.  "They are all that'zz left?"

Josh nodded as his stomach clenched again.  "Yah."

"Lookz like we got here juzzt in time, then, rookie.  Let'zz go."

********

How much of the ship could be without gravity?  How did artificial
gravity work, anyway?  Was it inverse square?  Inverse cube?  Did it
only work in one direction?  However it worked, Josh, Bracca, Lezterp
and the Ewoks had travelled up several decks and the gravity still
hadn't come back on.  So far, to Josh's surprise, they hadn't
encountered any stormies, though a few grey-uniformed crewmen had tried
to shoot at them.  The NR commandos had made short work of them.

Finally, they rounded a corner to be greeted by the sight of a NR
commando holding his arm up in greeting.  Were it not for the huge
blaster burn on the chestplate of his armour and the frozen rictus
underneath his visor, it might have been a welcome sight.  As it was,
Otom's body stood gruesomely still, his raised arm still oscillating
slightly in a grotesque parody of a wave.  The fact the corridor in the
other direction was full of drifting stormtroopers in similar states of
repair said that the commando had sold his life dearly.

"He's dead?" asked Josh, nervously checking up and down the corridor in
case some nearby stormies weren't.

Lezterp nodded.  "We blew a targeting relay for the turbolazzerzz.  The
gunnerzz on the front third of the ship should be running blind now.
The zztormiezz came, and Otom volunteered."  The strange emphasis on the
last word told Josh all he needed to know about the nature of the task,
while Bracca howled mournfully in counterpoint.

"But we zztill have a way to go.  From here, we -"

The lights died, something large and hard hit Josh, and gravity
returned.  The lights flickered back on, and staggered back to his
feet.  One of the Ewoks had landed head-first, and was staggering around
like he'd drunk half a bottle of vodka, while Lezterp and Bracca were
still standing as if nothing had happened.  The stormies were now lying
in a pile, and Otom's corpse was lying on its back, still at last.

A commando's head popped around a corner.  "He said I couldn't do it," a
woman's voice - Liana's, since she was the only female human in the
squad - proclaimed proudly.  "*He* thought there was *no* way I could
turn the gravity back on."

Neekred's voice echoed from around the corner.  "You'd think I'd know
better by now than to say that to a Corellian."

As Josh and his escorts rounded the corner, he heard Liana intone the
Corellian mantra - "Don't tell me the odds."

"I didn't," muttered Neekred.  The Duro eyed the two Ewoks and turned
his gaze back to Josh.  "Are there any more Ewoks on the way?"

Josh shrugged.  "I can't speak for Korak's group, but when we lost
gravity, we were sunk."

The Duro muttered something in a language Josh didn't recognise.  "We're
going to round up the Ewoks and head to the bridge.  The Blue Imp's got
some prisoners - we're going to try and break 'em out."

"Do.  Or do not.  There is no try,"  Josh found himself saying before he
could stop himself.  As the rest of the squad looked at him strangely,
the Terran shrugged.  "Something I heard once." *And at least I didn't
try for the voice.*

Neekred nodded curtly.  "Then we'll do.  Let's move."

*******

Korak sprang out from the ventilation shaft and grabbed the middle
stormtrooper's leg.  With a heave and a bass yub, the alpha male lifted
the leg and swung, whipping the stormtrooper's head into another
stormtrooper's, smashing both helmets like eggshells under a hammer.  As
the other stormtroopers began to take aim, thunder-stick fire tore
through the remainder of the squad, leaving only Korak standing,
screaming his triumph in a primal yub.

Korak had discovered that the stormtroopers possessed the mystic ability
to detect the thunder-sticks his compatriots carried.  By shedding the
technological trappings and lying in wait as his elders had taught him,
Korak had discovered he could ambush the enemy with great effectiveness
- especially when his compatriots were waiting for his signal to open
fire.

The bulky Ewok jogged back to where his compatriots were celebrating
this latest victory, and clapped the nearest few on the shoulders.
<"Well done, my warriors.  The enemy quakes in the face of our
strength.">

There was a cry from one of the sentries posted behind the group, and
immediately the group of Ewoks began to spread out, blasters at the
ready to face the new threat.  Then the sentry clarified his cry.  <"It
is our allies - they bring Nacket and Yichi with them.">

Korak snorted, and shouldered his way through the press of Ewoks.  He
stared at Josh in the traditional pose of challenge, and called out,
<"You think to show yourself again, human?  My warriors shall follow
only me!">

The one called 'Josh' rolled his eyes.  "Then you should follow
Neekred.  We're moving out - we're needed elsewhere."

<"Do not think to supplant -">  Korak broke off as group of Ewoks around
him began to form up around the commandos.  <"Wait!  I have not yet
given the order!">

Josh cleared his throat and yubbed, <"But you give dominance me.  Ewoks
follow you, follow me first.">  The human coughed a few times after the
speech, then glared at Korak.

<"This is not over,"> yubbed Korak as the Ewoks moved away.  <"We shall
settle this yet.">

"Tell me when, all right?  I wouldn't want to miss it."  The human
sounded bored, but Korak could smell his agitation.

<"You will know when you die,"> muttered the Ewok as the pair fell in as
rearguard for the Ewok group.

Josh shrugged.  "I've had a gutful of the threats, already.  When it
happens," - a bulkhead hissed open on the wall behind Korak - "GET
DOWN!"

The next thing Korak knew, he was lying on the ground, and Josh had
positioned himself in front of the prone Ewok.  On the other side of the
human was a swarm of metallic soldiers, their blasters swinging to bear.

Josh was firing, and shot the thunder-stick on one of the droids,
creating a satisfying explosion as the lightning vented from within.
But then the droids began firing.

Josh took two shots in the chest before he fell.  The remaining droids
stepped out into the corridor, where they were almost instantly
demolished by the storm of blaster fire from the massed Ewoks.  Korak
ran over to where the human lay.

Josh's head shifted slightly, focussing on Korak from behind the visor.
"Volunteering's a bitch," he whispered.  The Ewok nodded, and reached a
single claw into one of the craters on Josh's chestplate.  He dug it
into the flesh, and drew it out, showing its thin coating of blood to
the human.  Then Korak stuck the claw into his own mouth and sucked it
clean.

<"Honour is satisfied,"> said Korak.  <"I have tasted your blood.">  The
Ewok reached out and grabbed Josh's shoulder.  <"Rest well, warrior.">

Josh coughed, and a fine red mist coated the inside of his breath mask.
"Whatever," the human croaked.  "Take care of 'em, okay?"

Korak nodded, and stood up to face the assembled Ewoks.  <"His spriit
will honour our tribe.">

Neekred finally shouldered his way past the Ewoks, and surveyed the
damage.  Finally, he spoke.  "You did good, kid."

Josh craned his head around at the Duro.  He whispered, "Thanks," and
his head fell limp.

Neekred drew in a deep breath, then let it out.  Raising his head, he
called out, "Let's move!"