Project Boussh: Alternative Transportation
by Nick Coghlan

Piggy gazed curiously out of the window at the white van that was coming
up the road towards the beach house. He stood to one side, to shield
himself from casual observers - but the ordinary view was still quite
spectacular. At this particular moment though, Piggy was far more
interested in trying to puzzle out the destination of the van that had
attracted his attention. He had an irrational hunch that it was coming
directly to him, but he was trying to conduct a more thorough analysis,
regardless. He'd only considered a couple of options however, when the
driver of the van made further consideration unnecessary by turning into
the driveway. Piggy straightened up, attempting to identify the van's
driver, but the front of the vehicle disappeared beneath the verandah
before the Gamorrean got a good look. The lack of windows on the back of
the van had made it impossible to spot anything about the number or
nature of the passengers.

The openness of the van's approach meant Piggy was disinclined to expect
stormtrooper activity. After all, it was getting close to summer
holidays and a majority of the houses on the hill were already occupied.
He and Nick had originally taken up residence under cover of darkness.
The Imperials would never try anything in such an exposed situation.
Would they? Suddenly uncertain of the rationality of the Imperial
opposition, Piggy moved to collect his blaster from the side of the
communications console. As he continued on towards the top of the
stairs, he heard the sounds of a key in the lock, and then muffled
Terran cursing as someone attempted to get the door open. Just as Piggy
reached the stairs, the door at the bottom flew open to reveal Nick,
somewhat more dishevelled than when Piggy had last seen him.

"Ho Piggy. Got a spare communicator? Mine stopped working after an Ewok
tried to eat it." The Terran came inside as he spoke. After a brief
struggle, he even got the door closed.

"You didn't warn me of your arrival - because an Ewok ate your comlink."
Piggy's tone was calm. Matter-of-fact. Clearly indicative of his opinion
of that particular justification.

Nick did his best to look sheepish as he came up the stairs. "Uh-huh. I
didn't think he could hurt it, so I didn't stop him messing with it..."
His voice trailed off. "I guess I was wrong."

"And where would this culinarily inventive Ewok be right now?"

Nick jerked a thumb towards the front of the house. "In the van. Look,
I'd like to keep this quick, before he and his friends start getting too
restless.  I'm not sure how much Ooryl told you, but he & Josh are on
their way to Melbourne to check out ... something. I'm heading back to
the farm with our friends in the van and a crate of blasters to pick up
some reinforcements. I'm supposed to meet them down there in a couple of
days."

Opening up one of the many compartments in his console, Piggy rummaged
around briefly before pulling out a new comlink for the Terran. "So now
you're using Ewoks as cannon fodder, as well as exploiting them for your
so-called farm?"

"Woah! Relax." Nick held up his hands in a calming gesture. "I realise
now that what I was doing a little dubious, but it wasn't like the Ewoks
were unhappy with the arrangement."

Piggy quirked an eyebrow, the comlink forgotten for the moment. "_Was_
doing?"

"Yes, _was_ doing. How do you think I survived the trip here with three
fully armed homicidal nutcases without making some sort of deal?
Basically, I give the Ewoks control over their own society and a place
to live, and in return they keep order and let me serve as their
executioner. The Ewoks get self-determination and I get to keep my
business. Everybody wins. As for the cannon fodder bit. Have you ever
_seen_ an Ewok armed with a real weapon? It's scary."

Piggy grunted, sufficiently mollified to return to the task at hand.
Tossing the comlink across to the Terran, he said "Ooryl told me little
more than what you already indicated. He isn't quite sure what is to be
found in Melbourne either. He just knows it is relevant, and he knows
when and where to find it. Bill Skywalker is still the only Melbourne
connection I can find, but there haven't been any significant
developments as far as that goes. His record's even cleaner than yours.
But Ooryl's message said nothing about a change of vehicles."

 With the new comlink in hand, Nick was already headed for the stairs.
"What? Oh, the van. It's my brother's. I told him I wanted to help my
flatmate move some furniture out, and swapped him my car for a couple of
weeks. I needed something that could carry twenty Ewoks, without getting
flagged down by every traffic cop between here and Melbourne."

The Terrans head disappeared below the level of the railing around the
stairs. Piggy heard the distinctive sound of someone struggling with the
front door, which had had to cope with far too many years of salty sea
air and shifting foundations. Resuming his post at the window, he heard
the van's engine start, and then watched it back away down the driveway,
before turning and heading off on the relatively short journey to
Brisbane.

The Gamorrean gazed unseeingly over the ocean, while behind him the
computer continued the task of attempting to sift some remotely relevant
data out of the seething morass that was the Terrans' public
communications network.